STEP CHILDREN
Another cranky therapy session, move
along, nothing to see here.
Dang, this blog is way cheaper than
seeing a shrink!
I once knew
a lady who claimed that having step-children was more difficult than parenting your
natural children. She often said that
she was more proud of her relationship with her step-son than any other
relationship.
Interesting that
this lady actually had three step-children and two of them were persona
non-grata even though they lived far away from home. Also interesting is that the one step-son in
whose relationship she was so proud told me that when he was around his
step-mom, he always kept at least one eye open.
Coincidently
this ladies step-children, who came into her life at ages 17 – 22, were my own
natural children. What a terrific
step-parent to make a man choose between his wife and his children. What an idiot parent to choose his wife. I’m not going to say any more on that part of
this post.
Step-children.
I would
imagine that having very young step-children, especially from a broken home can
be challenging. I currently have
two step-children who are grown up.
Grown up step-children are the best.
When they screw up…not my fault.
When they do great things…it makes me proud and happy.
I would
suggest to the lady who constantly asserted that having step-children was so
very difficult, maybe it was difficult because you sucked at it. Maybe it would have been easier if you just
knew how to step aside and mind your own fecking business, maybe it would have
been easier if you did not make a concerted effort to piss them off and kick
them out of my life. Anyway, you missed
out on some truly great relationships.
You alienated two great kids and scared the crap out of another. Fortunately I now have the relationships with
all my children back.
In addition
I also have two step-children. They are
not difficult; they are a delight…most of the time.
Sounds like you could write a book on this subject. I have a step and he was delightful. I wasn't hard on him either so we had a healthy relationship.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. :)
my brother was given the 'choose me or your kids' routine w/ his 2nd wife. sadly, he chose her (and her kids) and lost many years with his 2 girls.
ReplyDeleteI just don't understand why anyone would make someone choose. That's horrible.
ReplyDeleteI lucked out with one step-parent--she always treated me like her own. Also she really wanted a daughter and never had one of her own, so she liked having a little girl to dress up and play dolls with. Despite the fact that said little girl had more interest in climbing trees and playing with nerf guns...
ReplyDeleteGlad you got a good relationship back with your kids. That's the most important thing!
Two many people use children as pawns in a nasty game of emotional chess. I've never had any step children but I like to think I'd treat them well. Take care.
ReplyDeleteLike Mich said, I'm glad you got them all back.
ReplyDeleteI never understood how a parent could chose a new spouse over children. Good you moved on.
ReplyDeleteIt can be an awkward situation.
ReplyDeleteI have two steps. They are grown now, but were 6-7 when we first met. They actually enjoyed spending their time at our house more with me than with their dad, probably because I was not the chore-assigner and consequence-dealer. I had a blast shopping for Christmas, and stuffing back-to-school backpacks. I do admit to ONE TIME swatting the youngest on the behind with my hand, because he did not stop picking up merchandise and carrying it around a Silver Dollar City shop after being told twice. We both got over it.
ReplyDeleteThe worst time was the early teens, when their mom refused to let them visit for a whole year. Their dad went to pick them up every time, but she sent their older half-brother (who he had raised from a baby like his own sons) out to the car to say, "They ain't comin'." At least they knew he did kept trying.
Thanks for the therapy.
My brother and I have a step-father and three step-sisters. For the most part, we all get along, but my 80 year old step-father as recently been diagnosed with very mild symptoms of Alzheimer's. One of the step-sisters has already claimed the two cars that my mom and step-father "currently" drive. Time to revamp the wills before things get ugly.
ReplyDeleteI know this is different from your story, but I can picture all of what you said because of my own blended family. I'm glad you fixed things with the kids. You not only have them, but the grandkids, too.
I'm the 10th commenter. We'll give you the discounted shrink rate.
I too am glad your relationship with your children has mended. I don't have any steps, probably never will. I'm sure it is a balancing act to learn to live together with all involved, blended, whatever you want to call it, yet I don't think a person should alienate their spouse's children and cause disrupt; something is definitely wrong there.
ReplyDeletebetty
Making someone choose is bad enough, but alienating the step children is worse. How could she?
ReplyDeleteNot meaning to get deep, but my dad chose his step-kids over my siblings and me. For years this fact deeply bothered me but I have come to accept it and have long since moved on. I was lucky enough to have a terrific grandfather and uncles.
ReplyDeleteThe funny part is that my siblings are quite a bit younger than me and a few years ago started a new relationship with our father. I tried to join in but the rift is just to great.
As you know my youngest son is my step son. I don't use that term unless I have to. He is my son. I raise him. I feed, clothe make sure he showers, brushes his teeth, goes to school and does his homework. I get up with him when he is sick and I comfort him when he is hurt. He is my baby. Anyone who looks at "step" children as step children and not their child, should not be in said relationship. Sorry. Pet peeve of mine.
ReplyDelete