THE CRANKY OLD MAN
Random thoughts and stuff from a cranky old man. Humor (maybe)and satire, mostly stuff from a confused head.
I intend for this blog to be non-political. If I offer a political statement, rebuttals are permitted, however this blog is not for the unsolicited political opinions of others and as such those comments will be deleted and not published.
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This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!
Sunday, May 11, 2014
STUPID HEADLINES 051114
STUPID HEADLINES 051114
It is time once again for
Ooh, that has got to smart
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive
headline is completely made up, guess the fake and win a mention and a
Young blood reverses aging in mice – Because the world needs more young mice.
Unilever first quarter disappoints despite Hellmanns’
upward sales spike – Hellmanns always does well for Cinco de Mayo.
Woman lives in tiny 84-square-foot
home – Well
she does spend a lot of time in the 2800-square foot shed in the back yard.
calls on FDA to make sure 'scary' powdered alcohol never hits store shelves – The FDA approved the product and then claiming it was a mistake quickly
withdrew approval.After the fact,
Chuckie Schumer made sure to call and confirm the withdrawal and managed to
make it look like he saved the day.Thank you Chuckie, way to go!I
think I’ll call the Supreme Court and make sure that slavery thing won’t be
making a comeback.
Coke to drop
flame retardant from drinks – First they drop cocaine and now flame retardant, can
they really call it classic coke?
Japanese Scientists Create Meat From Poop –
It is full of protein, has the
perfect consistency, and it is completely safe.The only drawback is it tastes like shit.
Artist who tied a rooster to his penis for a ‘performance’ by the
Eiffel Tower is found guilty of sexual exhibitionism –That’s
a COCK a-doodle-don’t!
Vatican presses forward with crackdown on
US nuns' group over 'radical' positions – Journalism 101; never use radical
positions, crackdown and nuns in the same headline!
Active older adults have healthiest hearts,
study says – Experts are
currently determining if older adults who don’t smoke or drink have healthier
hearts than those who smoke two packs of cigarettes and get drunk off their ass
Drunk Woman Busted For Loud Sex In Airplane Bathroom – Drunk...ok.Sex…ok.LOUD…Busted!
Students design a car that gets 2,824
mpg – Only if they
find a really, really long hill.
Cannibal cop serving inmates behind bars – To whom is he serving them?
Michael Jordan: I was against
all white people as a kid – Michael Jordan vs. five white kids…sounds about even to me.
North Korea unleashes racist slurs
against Obama – Likens
our President to a monkey…have they even seen their fearless leader?
Mo, Larry, the cheese!
Editorial comment: Hey North Korea...Shut the fuck up!
Last week’s fake
Texas farmer finds egg of whistler
duck, long thought to be extinct – Now looking for whistler duck egg’s mother, a stern old bird in a
black dress with a white hat.
There were lots of
winners.This fake was too easy,
especially for followers of
Now the disappointment.Stephen @ http://thechubbychatterbox.blogspot.com/ is also a TWG follower and yet he
failed to recuse himself, so even though he has educational art posts and
wonderful stories, do not visit Stephen, he needs to be punished…nah go visit
anyway you won’t be sorry.