STUPID HEADLINES 101313
It is time once again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
|Errr Ahhh rounded up?|
One headline is completely made up. Guess the fake and win a mention.
T. Rex skeleton’s trip to Smithsonian delayed by shutdown- It been 65 million years, I think another week or two won’t make any difference.
California man bitten by shark says it came out of nowhere – I’m pretty sure it was in the water before he was.
Singer assaulted onstage after dedicating song to Trayvon Martin – Well he was wearing a hoodie and had a bag of Skittles in his back pocket.
Neuroscientist uses MRI scans to show that dogs have emotions similar to humans – So this major brainiac spent two years to find out what every person who has ever had a dog in their life could have told him…could we please channel our monetary and intelligence resources to ending cancer or at least developing longer battery life for my cell phone!
Clerk pulls huge knife on gunman – Cause if the knife is really big, it will beat a gun?
Viagra sales faces stiff competition – Pfizer hopes the competition will peter out after four hours.
Ole Miss must ban players – now – Well there goes my trip to Ole Miss…why should a player even bother dude?
Athlete Rescued from Bathroom Stall With Help of Twitter – Who knew there was an app for that?
School bans most balls during recess – OUCH! Do they get them back when class starts?
Teacher accused of urging students to fail test resigns – Idiot teaching administrators have deemed teacher evaluation to be based on student improvement on a standardized test. What did they expect would happen? This teacher was a bit overboard in clearly encouraging the students to fail on purpose…I suspect it was her way of protesting a ridiculous evaluation criteria.
California court rules spanking with wooden spoon not abuse – Is it abuse if I stab someone with a wooden fork?
Central Pa. man convicted of beating wife with wooden paddle for refusing to call him 'sir' – So in California you can spank someone with a wooden spoon, but in Pennsylvania you can’t whack someone with a wooden paddle? This could be really confusing.
Vatican misspells Jesus's name on commemorative medals – Father Guido Sarducci said, “Youa meen ees anama ees nota Ralph ofa Nazareth?”
Living, breathing man will remain dead in the eyes of Ohio law – I think Ohio law has a fatal flaw.
Last week’s fake headline was:
UK rules “Shag Carpet” must be advertised as “Deep Pile Carpet” – Too many people thought the carpet was a place to shag!
And the lone winner…FISHDUCKY
I'm back & I'm going with the shag carpet!!
Fran’s posts are as much fun as Fran is smart:
Come back next week for more STUPID HEADLINES!