WHY MEN DO
(or don't do) STUFF
When men do
stuff, women always have a complicated explanation for the psychology behind
the event. Often, the real explanation
is not quite as complicated as they think.
For example:
Leaving the toilet seat up
Woman: Obviously this is intentionally
done as a passive-aggressive act because he does not like my new hairdo.
Man’s actual reason: “I forgot…wait…you got a new
hairdo?”
Leaving dirty dishes in the sink
Woman: Clearly thinks doing dishes is woman’s work, that misogynistic lazy jerk.
Man’s actual reason: “I was going to do them, then the
Giants recovered a fumble, and then I forgot.
Underpants just flung on the floor
Woman: Another example of his disrespect
for the house and by extension, disrespect for me.
Man’s actual reason: “I was about to put them in the
hamper, but then the phone rang, and I forgot.”
Forgets anniversary date
Woman: He doesn’t remember on purpose
because it just isn’t important to him.
Man’s actual reason: “But it’s Tuesday, we were married
on a Saturday…or Friday…one of those…in the Fall, I think…I forgot.
Drinks OJ from the carton
Woman:
He is just too lazy to get a glass and doesn’t care about germs or
manners.
Man’s actual reason: “I was about to use a glass but
the doorbell rang, and then I forgot.”
Didn’t take out the garbage
Woman: He thinks he is above manual labor,
and too good to handle anything dirty.
Man’s actual reason: “I thought the garbage man came on
Tuesday…it is?...I forgot.”
He over tips the waiter at the
restaurant
Woman: Another example of his feelings of
inadequacy, and he always has to be the big man and show off.
Man’s actual reason: “15% is not over tipping!...It was
30%?...I forgot.”
Won’t ask for directions
Woman: He is an immature egomaniac
unwilling to admit he is lost.
Man’s actual reason: “I was sure we turned left the last
time, I guess I forgot.”
Blew up the BBQ with too much lighter
fluid
Woman: In an effort to prove his manhood,
he does everything in excess.
Man’s actual reason: “You were talking so much while I
was squirting it on the coals that I
forgot.”
Forgets to lock the front door
Woman:
He just forgets to think because he is so lazy.
Man’s actual reason: “I was going to remember, but then
I forgot.”
Why do woman make it so
complicated?
Uh-oh. I think I got that whole "forgetting" thing big time.
ReplyDeleteALTHOUGH, being a lazy slob is the most likely cause of at least a couple of these little transgressions. Laundry on the floor? Not on my watch.
Never could understand why little boys are taught to piss standing up. It goes everywhere, and that will always be the case no matter how good the aim is on into the later years, but don't get me started.
We definitely are from different planets.
ReplyDeleteI've come to accept the fact that for the most part men are quite unaware of nuance.
ReplyDeleteThis frees my mind up considerably.
:-)
Pearl
Well forgotten -- till the next time!
ReplyDeleteGlad you remembered to write & post this!!
ReplyDeleteDoesn't fly. Barely gets off the ground. Oh, you were joking.....?
ReplyDeleteI had a wonderfully witty comment in mind but I forgot what it was.
ReplyDeleteMan, "It's been a week since we had sex!"
ReplyDeleteWoman, "Really? I thought it was two days ago...I think I forgot."
:D
Personally, I wonder why women have such a problem with a toilet seat left up. Don't they look at where they're about to sit before they actually do? I don't think there's a man alive who plops his ass down someplace without first looking to see what he might be sitting on by mistake. Then again, I've always felt that women are far less cognizant of what's going on behind them than men are. You can push a shopping cart down the aisle in the supermarket and get right within a foot of a woman and if her back is turned she won't even notice, and she'll a surprised little yelp when she finally discovers you there waiting for her to move so you can go by. Try that with most men and you won't get within ten feet before they notice you and try to make room for you to pass.
ReplyDeleteMen forget everything! Except the things THEY care about. Like what time the game is on, who scored what run in what game in what year, etc. My husband has to ask ME when our kids' birthdays are, and what their middle names are, what grades they are in, etc. Okay, I know what you are going to say, Cranky. You're going to say to cut him some slack because there are TEN of them! But hey, I remember! How come I can remember those things and he can't? But yet he can remember who won what game and when and where? What IS it with sports and men's memories??
ReplyDeleteThere's a certain time every month I don't dare do any of those things, but I often seem to forget when that time is. That's why I have McShan's florist on speed dial. ;)
ReplyDeleteGood post!
S
Yeah. It's a wonder you guys can breathe in/breathe out without somebody reminding you.
ReplyDeleteMy dog loves me and doesn't have such silly expectations either!
ReplyDelete