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Thursday, October 24, 2013


Not the title from a Jefferson Airplane hit, but I think Grace Slick had it wrong. 

Don’t you need somebody to hate?

Wouldn’t you love somebody to hate?

Everyone has that one person in their life.  A neighbor, a co-worker, a boss, your train conductor, a teacher; everyone has that one person that makes their life more difficult and or miserable.

Mine was Bobby T, a manager at the Wall Street firm where I toiled for forty years.  Bobby T was a misogynist asshole who often left the female employees in his unit crying in the ladies room because of his being an insensitive low class bullying sadistic asshole (did I say asshole again...sorry I have no other word for him.) 

Bobby treated those below him on the corporate totem pole like gum on the bottom of his shoe.  He backstabbed anyone at his corporate level and if anyone above his station stopped short, they ended up with a Bobby T nose up their butt.

I will never know how Bobby T became a manager.  He could not manage worth a dime.  His style was from the 1950’s.  Beyond “Because I said so,” and “Just do it” he had no management skills at all.  He did not know spit about the very unit he ran, was as dumb as a stump and was hated by everyone.  Even his own managers knew he was an asshole, but they did not want to make waves.

He was also fat and ugly.

I did not like Bobby T. (Did I mention he was an asshole?)

When things were slow, I would swap Bobby T stories with co-workers.  We would laugh about his stupidity.  We would complain about his treatment of other workers.  We would laugh about his snooping on everyone and his underhanded ways to gain favor with corporate big wigs.

When I went home, my wife (pre-Mrs. C.) would ask,

“What did Bobby do today?”

 It was the only part of my job that interested her.

Mrs. C. recently had a co-worker who was a pathologic liar.  She made things difficult at work.  She was pushy and obnoxious.  First thing I would hear when Mrs. C. came home from work was,

“Guess what Joanie did (or said) today.”

There was always something interesting to talk or vent about.

In 2005, my firm had a mandatory staff reduction. 

Bobby T was reduced.  Bobby T cried.  Bobby T stomped his feet like a child.  Bobby T was escorted out of the building by security. 

The rest of the office rose to their feet and applauded as he left.

Weeks later, when work was slow, I sat in a friend’s office bored and with nothing to talk about.  In unison we both suddenly blurted out,

 “Somehow I miss Bobby T!”

Joanie left Mrs. C’s dance studio a few months ago.  Last night when she came home I asked her,

“How was work?”


“Just fine? Damn, I miss Joanie!”

“I know, me too.”

 You better find somebody to hate.


  1. Yes the infuriating ones can make for entertaining stories later. But I much prefer having infuriating clients that I don't have to deal with every day than having Supreme Evil Bossette. I do not miss her.

  2. Jayne... I didn't hate her, but she sure made the job interesting... and took my mind off the asshole customers.

  3. Guess I was pretty lucky - I don't remember having a boss that I hated. I had a couple of incompetent ones but they were still okay as people. Now rude and obnoxious customers - Wow. But the time with them was limited.

  4. As I was self employed for 35 years, I was the Bobby. Only I worked hard to make sure I was as far from the Bobby you described as possible. I got along well with everyone I worked "with", and I think it payed dividends for all of us.

    Now customers....I dealt with a LOT of Bobby's! And no, I don't miss any of them.


  5. Also lucky here in that I didn't have a boss I hated. Did leave a company many years ago and discovered as I was turning in my keys/credit card/what have you, that my boss was getting the axe the following Monday. Too late by then, I had already given my word that I was starting somewhere new. Wasn't like I 'hated' him, but he could be a dick sometimes.
    Usually it's best to go with, "Don't get mad, just try to get even."

  6. You're spot on with this post. Before becoming self employed I struggled with a variety of managers who insisted I work their way. These were goal-oriented jobs and I never failed to meet or exceed the goal, but they were never happy unless I failed doing it their way.

  7. What do you do if you're self-employed & you HATE your boss?

  8. Those were the days. They never go away. I'm currently involved with a committee. Let's just call it Committee T.

  9. I think everyone knows someone like that. Asshole is a very approriate name for them too. As well as a handfull of other names depending on the day.

  10. Almost forgot- I have a thing I downloaded that says it nicely.

    Be thankful for all the difficult people in your life, and learn from them. They have shown you exactly who you do NOT want to be!

  11. Ha! This is funny.
    I remember there was a woman who worked with me a long time ago (before kids) and her name was Sharon but she spelled it like this -----> "Sharianne" and so when people looked at her name tag they would say, "Sherry Anne" and then she'd cock her head to the side and say, "It's pronounced Sharon." in this snobby voice, and she'd have this little quirky smile and her eyes would squint up behind her coke-bottle glasses, and I swear I think she made up that spelling of her name JUST so that she'd be able to correct people. Ooooooh no one at work like "Sharon" -- she was a pain.

  12. Isn't it amazing how we are so programmed to need a reason to be angry at times. When a good, quiet day comes along, it feels strange.

  13. Those were the days, when crappy, poisonous managers ran rampant in workplaces because everyone was too scared to do anything about them. Ah, good times...
    I had some bad managers, but the absolute worst bosses I had owned a restaurant I worked at in Greece, and they were so horrible we were often just left mute with disbelief. But yeah, they did give us plenty to talk and laugh about, I guess.
    I don't miss them though!

  14. I used to work with an asshole - he smiled a lot as he stabbed people in the back.

  15. Joe, I think Aunt Peg and Uncle Jim would disapprove! I cannot imagine either of them disliking anyone!
    Just saying!