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Sunday, October 20, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 102013


STUPID HEADLINES 102013

 
It is time once again for:

 
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
 
"I only killed him a little"

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
 
One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

 

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What happens when the government runs a whorehouse? – Just what happens today, we pay and then we get screwed.

Breast implants may improve women's sex lives, study suggests – Nine out of ten men surveyed agree.

Debate builds in Iowa over gun permits for the blind- The law says they can have the permit if they can find it.

Man charged with trying to carjack Cal Ripken’s mom – That ends a Ripken streak of 3742 straight days without an attempted carjacking.

GM's Mary Barra to staff: 'No more crappy cars.'Now there’s a catchy new ad phrase…I can visualize it with background music “Lemon Tree.”

Syria: Reported fatwa allows the hungry to eat cats and dogs – They have to be pretty hungry!

Peruvian Town Banned From Hosting Festival That Killed And Cooked Cats – Guess where the festival will be held next year.

Corona executive admits: “We invented Cinco de Mayo.” – Well the Mexican holiday did exist, but it was kinda like our Arbor Day.

Motorcyclist arrested for going 140 mph tells cops he needed bathroom break – 140 mph on a motorcycle would pretty much take care of the “bathroom break” need for most people. 
Eagle held as 'spy' by Lebanon terror group –  Eagle quarterback Mike Vick claims the terror group is just "Dogging him."

Fake 'Austrian prince' swiped $80K antique commode from ailing Rockefeller heiressThe disturbing thing is the Rockefeller heiress was still on it at the time.

Connecticut man allegedly hurls parrot at cop after chase – Never flip the bird to a cop!

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Last week’s fake headline was:

Viagra sales faces stiff competition – Pfizer hopes the competition will peter out after four hours.

We had four winners:

                      TexWisGirl said...

lord help us all - you and fishducky have a mind meld...

i'm gonna pick viagra, alex. why the hell not?

Well I do love Fishducky, but she whiffed this week.

For great nature pictures and more, check out TexWisGirl…1200+ followers can’t be wrong!


Josie Two Shoes said...

I'm going with Viagra too, loved 'em all! Completely agree on the neuroscientist, I mean was this guy's life dream really to study the emotions of dogs? I think all such studies should have to go thru a "common sense" review before being approved.

For mini-stories based on two words or just six sentences Josie is the place to visit


            Gia said...

My guess is also the Viagra one. The sad thing is that I know for sure that most of the others are true bc I saw it on huffpo or weekend update on snl.

Do NOT miss the cartoon adventures of Gia and “Boyfriend”


                      Emily said...

Viagara for me! Well, not for me. None, thanks. But I think it's fake. Thanks for the giggles again!

Visit Emily to “Learn something new every day” http://emhawker.blogspot.com/  

 

Thanks to Val the Victorian for her headline contribution.

http://unbaggingthecats.blogspot.com/  Visit Val…Funny stuff!

 If you see a “Stupid Headline” any submissions to jphag13@yahoo.com are appreciated.
 
 

 

 

 

 

 


14 comments:

  1. One more try - I know the IRS seized the whorehouse in NV but contrary to popular belief, I don't think they ever ran it - so I'm going with your "What happens when the Government runs a whorehouse."

    ReplyDelete
  2. woo hoo! i won and fishducky didn't!!! :) that's gotta be a first! :)

    flipping the bird... bwahahaha!

    i'm gonna pick viagra this week since it worked last week... okay, kidding. i'll go with gun permits for the blind.

    ReplyDelete
  3. My choice is:
    "Corona executive admits: 'We invented Cinco de Mayo.' – Well the Mexican holiday did exist, but it was kinda like our Arbor Day."

    Because... well, we were celebrating it long before I ever heard of Corona.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gun permits for the "blind?" Please say it ain't so.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I am going with GM's Mary Barra to staff: 'No more crappy cars.' I love my Buick but I will not buy one after 2009. First step for no more crappy cars is get the Government out and get the General back in.

    ReplyDelete
  6. The gun permits for the blind just HAS to be the fake headline....I mean, what's next? Driver's permits for the blind? Both can be used as a deadly weapon for people who have NO VISION - duh!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I have to put my money on the crappy GM cars. I can't imagine they'd ever stop making them.

    I can see a debate for the blind gun permits. Let's hope it doesn't become a case of the blind shooting the blind.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I wonder how you come up with this stuff and then I realize you don't need to. You CAN'T make this stuff up, and when you do, even your weird fake one is difficult to spot. Way to find the cream of the crop and then add even better punch lines---again.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'll take a shot in the dark (ooh...) with gun permits for the blind.

    ReplyDelete
  10. FISTPUMP! Finally got one! Thanks for the mention.

    No need to mention me next week. No idea. I'll lock in the parrot with no confidence whatsoever.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "GM's Mary Barra to staff: 'No more crappy cars.'"

    So they're gonna fire all the beancounters? 'Bout time!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Since I am always wrong, I'll stick to laughing while reading the post and at the comments the others have left.

    ReplyDelete

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