MAN FLU or MARTYR WIFE

MAN FLU or MARTYR WIFE

 

Things are going pretty good lately for this cranky old man so I feel the need to submit a post which will cause many of my readers of the female persuasion to rip me a new backside exit.  Yes I am a masochistic misogynistic cranky old man, so have at it all you misanthropists’ ladies. 

The following is based on my experience with a “Martyr ex-wife.”

I often read in some of the many blogs I follow, caustic, eye rolling sarcastic, comments oozing with hatred for their significant other about a recent bout of “Man Flu.”

Sorry ladies and I know you will hit me with examples, but “Man Flu” is a crock of crap invented by women.  Women who are as tough as nails when it comes to all things children are the worst when it comes to colds. 

I get that it is hard to perform your usual daily routine when you are a little under the weather, but you complain as much or more than any man when you are ill.  Most men do try and offer sympathy, but women do not accept sympathy or help when they are ill.  No, they prefer to wallow in martyrdom.  Try and help a woman when she is sick and she will get pissed off.  Everything you do to help will be wrong because women are deathly afraid to find out their family can exist without them…they can’t, but it is what women fear.

Now, I admit when I was working and was sick I would take an occasional day off from work, something that a woman can never do, but I took those days off at my wife’s insistence.  I was then allowed to stay in bed all day as she brought me medication and sustenance.  By the end of the day I would be beaten up for accepting the attention.  I never took more than one day off from work, because that one day had me so beholding to my wife I would hear about it for years to come.

Man flu hell! 

I soon learned to drag my ass to work no matter how sick I felt and no matter who I might infect, because rest and recovery was never worth the crap I would endure for months about how helpless I am when sick and how she could never take a day off.

Friggin bull crap martyr!

I waited hand and foot on her many times and the result would always end up the same.  She would wake up from a nap and want something while I was finally catching a quick snooze myself.  Man, the bowels of HELL were unleashed upon me.

I had whooping cough one year.  This is a disease that last for ninety days.  Ninety days of not breathing without dry coughing.  Ninety days of pure misery.  I went to work every day, and every day I was lambasted for doing so.  Apparently I was being selfish for not taking better care of myself.  I was even told at one point that, “If you die, I’m going to spit on your grave!” It was not meant to be funny.

I refused to give her the satisfaction…I lived!

There is NO MAN FLU.  There are women who insist on waiting on their man when he is sick and then complaining about it later.

There are women who insist on no special treatment when they are sick who then complain about it later.

Man Flu is the result of women resorting to their nurturing instinct followed by their complaining instinct along with their martyr instinct.

Man Flu is a figment of femagination.  Still ladies…I love ya!