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Saturday, October 19, 2013



A cranky opinion for

Cranky Opinion Saturday

The following is the opinion of a cranky old man.  Opposing opinions are welcome, they are wrong, but welcome, and please no name calling…that means you, you big stupid head!

I have already seen my first article of the season about parents being upset because their school is not celebrating Halloween. 

Kids can’t read; no problem.  Kids don’t know the American political system; no problem.  No dress code; no problem.  Teachers get no respect; no problem.  Drugs in school, grades dumbed down, no discipline; no problem.

Don’t allow kids to come to school dressed like ghosts, witches, space creatures, super heroes, and slutty pop stars…BIG PROBLEM!

Could we just get a grip?  We can’t have any mention of God in school…I get it.  You cannot bring a pen knife, a toy gun, or an aspirin to class…I get it.  Why is dressing up for Halloween at school some kind of national right?  Halloween is not a holiday.  It is a fun tradition for little kids which should take place after school in the local neighborhoods.

When the school allows these costumes, that is one more day where no teaching takes place.  It is a day where highly paid, highly trained professionals become baby sitters. It demeans the school, it demeans the education process, and dammit if we can’t have God we shouldn’t have goblins.

You might have guessed that I do not like Halloween. 

I like the little kids getting excited about dressing up and getting candy.  That is a fun tradition.  I like the decorations and the fun ghosts, spiders and other scary displays on people’s front yards.  I like the carved pumpkins.  I like the candy corn. 

I do like Halloween.

I hate the open season for vandalism that occurs the night before Halloween.  Where did that tradition come from?  Why is it ok to egg cars and houses, paper yards, break windows, and worse on that stupid night?  I hate sixteen year old kids with a patch over their eye for a costume ringing my bell at 10:00 pm asking for candy, and catching an attitude when they don’t like my offering.

Here are Cranky’s rules for Halloween:


1.    Participants – Age 3-11.

2.    Time – 4:00 pm – 8:00 pm

3.    Costumes – Participants must not be recognizable.

4.    Participants must demand “Trick or Treat” when a door is opened.

5.    Treat – Not to exceed a small candy bar or Hershey kiss per participant

6.    Participant must say “Thank you” upon receiving treat.

7.    Trick – Not to exceed chalk on the driveway and only if no treat is provided.

8.    Houses with out a front light on are exempt from treat extortion.

9.    Greeting participants at the front door with scary masks is encouraged.

The final rule…Halloween does not belong in school…get over it!


The preceding was the opinion of a cranky old man and not necessarily that of management…Mrs. Cranky.    


  1. I agree! I like Halloween but it belongs where it belongs. I am totally on board with all of these rules!

  2. As a former elementary school teacher, I couldn't agree more - honestly, as much as we try to 'ignore' it on a normal school day that happens to fall on Oct. 31st, the kids sure don't! It is hard enough to get through the day, much less throw in dressing up and all that. You're right too - it is amazing the focus of can't get them to come in for conferences, or parent nights, but dadgum, they'll show up arms loaded with party junk on party day. Interesting.

  3. Let's be honest....Halloween exists as it does today because the candy industry had/has one kick-ass PR guy. Ditto for the candy and flower industries and Valentine's. But having said all that, I don't dare NOT participate in either.

    Good "rules of engagement", BTW. :)


  4. no trick or treating out here with a long driveway and locked gate. i just have to worry about the mailbox getting battered - but that's pretty much a normal worry.

  5. When I was a kid there was little acknowledgement of Halloween except maybe for a "spook" themes bulletin board. It all happened after school. Like you, I think we've gotten too soft on kids in school these days and other countries are surpassing us in academic studies while here in America we strive to make kids feel good---like they're all winners--when this isn't the way the world works.

  6. You nailed it Cranky! Too bad your wisdom can't be cranked into the minds of the fools who think their children should dress like street walkers and worse--and even worse have a right to wear those clothes to school. I know the teachers would certainly thank you.

  7. I have to agree with you on this one. I love Halloween, or what it used to be, which falls in line with many of your "rules". Education was happening in school back then too, and parents supported teachers and administration. We did have holiday celebrations, but there were no costumes to impede the daily routine, we were excited about treats and construction paper pumpkins! This is just one more example of parents trying to farm out their responsibilities to entertain and interact with their own kids... let the school do it, then I won't have to. So very wrong! I totally agree on that night before Halloween vandalism, it didn't happen where I grew up. You are so right that we have much bigger issues to address in our schools! Teaching has become a thankless job, and that's tragic.

  8. Because I'm at a soccer game right now and should be watching the game, I'm gonna keep this short and sweet: I soooooooooo agree!!!

  9. #1... They have to believe in Santa and the Easter Bunny.

    #2... 6:30 - 7:45 (because I won't be home during those hours this year).

    ...and if anyone violates #8 they get kneecapped.

  10. But is it really necessary to call the after-school dance the Fall Festival Dance? That's not fooling anybody.

  11. Hilarious and I agree. Although, when I got to wear a costume to school back in the day and I wore roller skates, it was a blast skating through the hallways and nearly killing everyone in my path. Loved the line about god and goblins...LOL! Great to see you back at the Monday linkup C.O.M.

  12. Totally agree! Well said, except we like to give a few pieces of candy...

  13. I agree! It should be done with the proper rules!

  14. I guess I'm a cranky old lady because I agree with you on this!

  15. Interesting. I thought I was in a small minority of Halloween scrooges. I see there are more of you out there. :)

    It's all about the money. Advertise (starting in early Sept.), sell, watch parents shop, make TV shows about it, sell orange lights for decorating houses...