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Sunday, September 15, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 091513


STUPID HEADLINES 091513

It is time once again for:

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

 
I'm staying home on 2-22
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments. 

 

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

____________________________

 

Woman to stand trial over fellatio claim – She woke up her ex-husband preforming fellatio and he is pressing charges…not much question about why he is an X-husband.

Human toes wanted by Yukon bar for Sourtoe cocktail – “Over the lips and through the gums, look out stomach…IT’S A FUCKING TOE!!”

Syria accepts weapons plan, strike momentum eases – “I’m sorry Mr. Obama. I’ll just kill people the old fashion way from now on.” PROBLEM SOLVED!!

Utah hunter gores himself on antler of elk he killed – Even though the hunter survived, Utah rules declare the hunt to be a tie!

Anthony Weiner caps failed comeback bid with obscene gesture – Disgusting, no class, perverted, bullying, controlling, poor excuse for a man, giant ass-hole who had the temerity to run for Mayor of the world’s greatest city, NYC, captures all of 5% of the vote and flips the bird during his concession speech…there is a rock with your name on it Anthony, go crawl under it…ASS-WIPE!!*

Grizzly bear attacked man 90 minutes after being shot – This dude had a really bad day.  First he gets shot and then 90 minutes later he gets attacked by a grizzly bear!

Being married to Carrie Underwood isn’t easy – I’ll say; I can’t even get her email address.

Woman with 36-character last name hopes Hawaii changes letter of the law - Janice Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele says, “You can call me Jan, or you can call me Jan Kei, or you can call me Kauaka, or you can call me Janaunaele, but you doesn’t has to call me

Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele!!”  (Raymond J. Johnson…GIYP, or right here on YouTube)


New rifle mimics machine gun Because you never know when you might need to protect yourself from 75 intruders.

Kentucky grandfather builds ‘ultimate playhouse’ on top of 50-foot silo – Sounds safe to me!

The One Smell Women Can’t Resist Hmmm…I know it doesn’t come after “pull my finger!”

Transparent car spotted at Frankfurt Motor Show – Without the spots no one could see it.

Gun toting skydiver shoots chute – “G  E  R  O  N  I  NO!”
*I love blogging!
 

There was no fake headline last week.  It is back by popular demand…well 3 people asked.

11 comments:

  1. oh, this is a tough week. :) i'm going with transparent car. or whatever fishducky picks...

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  2. I don't have a clue, the really frightening thing is that all the others are true! What a world! :-)

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  3. TexWisGirl & I are voting for the skydiver!!

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  4. The woman performing fellatio on her ex husband must have sharp teeth. When I'm awaken that way filing a lawsuit is the farthest thing from my mind.

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  5. Just for fun I will go with the toe cocktail as the fake but people will drink anything.

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  6. Police arrest everyone on 2/22? Jeez....talk about a helluva quota. That, or maybe they should recalibrate their radar gun.

    S

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  7. I'm going with the Sourtoe Cocktail, because I hate feet, and this is so disturbing that I sincerely hope it's fake. It would take a lot of dirty water to wash that down.

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  8. I'm going to hope it's the toe one. That's just gross.

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  9. Hahaha! Now let's see. I'll go with the rifle/machine gun. PLEASE let that not be true!

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  10. I think it is about the Grizzly Bear.

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