STUPID HEADLINES 091513
It is time once again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.
One headline is completely made up. Guess the fake and win a mention.
Woman to stand trial over fellatio claim – She woke up her ex-husband preforming fellatio and he is pressing charges…not much question about why he is an X-husband.
Human toes wanted by Yukon bar for Sourtoe cocktail – “Over the lips and through the gums, look out stomach…IT’S A FUCKING TOE!!”
Syria accepts weapons plan, strike momentum eases – “I’m sorry Mr. Obama. I’ll just kill people the old fashion way from now on.” PROBLEM SOLVED!!
Utah hunter gores himself on antler of elk he killed – Even though the hunter survived, Utah rules declare the hunt to be a tie!
Anthony Weiner caps failed comeback bid with obscene gesture – Disgusting, no class, perverted, bullying, controlling, poor excuse for a man, giant ass-hole who had the temerity to run for Mayor of the world’s greatest city, NYC, captures all of 5% of the vote and flips the bird during his concession speech…there is a rock with your name on it Anthony, go crawl under it…ASS-WIPE!!*
Grizzly bear attacked man 90 minutes after being shot – This dude had a really bad day. First he gets shot and then 90 minutes later he gets attacked by a grizzly bear!
Being married to Carrie Underwood isn’t easy – I’ll say; I can’t even get her email address.
Woman with 36-character last name hopes Hawaii changes letter of the law - Janice Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele says, “You can call me Jan, or you can call me Jan Kei, or you can call me Kauaka, or you can call me Janaunaele, but you doesn’t has to call me
Keihanaikukauakahihuliheekahaunaele!!” (Raymond J. Johnson…GIYP, or right here on YouTube)
New rifle mimics machine gun – Because you never know when you might need to protect yourself from 75 intruders.
Kentucky grandfather builds ‘ultimate playhouse’ on top of 50-foot silo – Sounds safe to me!
The One Smell Women Can’t Resist – Hmmm…I know it doesn’t come after “pull my finger!”
Transparent car spotted at Frankfurt Motor Show – Without the spots no one could see it.
There was no fake headline last week. It is back by popular demand…well 3 people asked.