Women's Mind Game
OK ladies,
just admit it…you get bored so you just like to mess with our heads.
When I need
something, getting information on the location of said needed object from Mrs.
Cranky is like pulling teeth.
“Hey Kare, do you know where the
hammer is?”
“Yes.”
“Where?”
“Downstairs.”
“Downstairs in the basement?”
“No downstairs is downstairs, the
basement is the basement.”
“Where downstairs?”
“By the table.”
“The table in the living room or the
table in the family room?”
“Oh for crap sake, I’ll get it.”
All right I
get it, I’m an idiot, I can’t find anything...but a woman’s instructions…damn!
The other
morning I go down stairs for coffee.
“You want me to bring anything up?”
“Just a small Jet’s glass of orange
juice.”
We have two glasses
that Mrs. Cranky got from the gas station back in the day when stations had to
compete to sell gas (GIYP.) They have
the NY Jets logo etched in them. They
are small glasses.
What is a
small Jet’s glass of orange juice?
Is it orange
juice from a small Jet’s glass, or a small glass of orange juice in a Jet’s
glass?
Since the
Jet’s glasses are small, I deduce there is no need to describe the only two
Jet’s glasses in the house; therefore Mrs. Cranky must want only a little
orange juice in a Jet’s glass.
WRONG!
“Here is your juice Kare.”
“Why did you only get me half a
glass?”
“You said ‘a small glass of juice’.”
“No, I said orange juice in a small
Jet’s glass.”
“But the Jet’s glasses are small; why
not just ask for orange juice in a Jet’s glass?”
“You’re a jerk!”
I think she does it on purpose.
The things we have to do to keep you men on your toes, eh?
ReplyDeleteShoot with my hubby I like throwing in *it's on the whatjamacallit* just for giggles and confusion! :)
ReplyDeleteOne of you don't talk English so good.
ReplyDeleteSD knows where EVERYTHING is, well, other than the bycicle saddle from my bike that he replaced with a new one a few weeks ago and I must have apparently put somewhere! I'm going to try the orange juice trick and ask him to bring me some in the coke glass, we have about 6, all different colours, it'll completely throw him-thanks Mrs C!
ReplyDeleteOddly enough, I understood everything she said.
ReplyDelete:-)
Pearl
we have a set of those glasses w/ dallas cowboys on them. :)
ReplyDeleteThis time even I didn't understand her--maybe I should ask Pearl what she meant!!
ReplyDeleteLOL what is life without bugging my husband on things that don't matter?
ReplyDeleteWe always thought you could read minds.....
ReplyDeleteThe glass is small; she wants it full of juice. Sigh. I suppose she just got it herself.
ReplyDeleteWhen asking a question, my husband likes a straight yes or no answer in response. Sometimes, the answer needs qualification though and he gets frustrated when the answer doesn't fit into either 'yes' or 'no' format.
ReplyDeleteUsing your hammer as an example (because for the life of my I can't remember one of my own), he might ask, "Did you move my hammer?" The answer might be "No, a grand tornado came up and lifted it away and it landed on a witch in Oz", but he would want a Yes or No, so the answer would be No. Do you see the cause of many a disagreement in our household?
The last line ("You're a jerk!") made the laughter explode from me. I think it's a guy thing, maybe from listening to Moe throw around insults for 50-some years now.
ReplyDeleteHey, I've been really crummy about getting over here and commenting and stuff. I'll probably be crummy again sometime, too, but at least now I've admitted it (which is the first step toward a cure, or so I've heard in all the 12-step literature I've ever read.)
This one really made me laugh because it sounds so similar to conversations at my house.
ReplyDeleteI'm perplexed by what you don't seem to get.
ReplyDeleteHow could you not understand that?
ReplyDeleteBut even more astonishing, YOU BROUGHT HER A GLASS OF JUICE! Even if it WAS the wrong kind. Let me see...the last time my husband brought me a glass of juice was...NEVER!
It all made sense to me, I'm not sure why you're having a hard time understanding her ... said the woman.
ReplyDeleteI understood the request. :)
ReplyDeleteWhen I give instructions to my husband, I have to, first, think like he thinks, then instruct him based on how I know he will interpret. Making a grocery store request requires major specifics, otherwise, he will always come home with the wrong thing and two times the amount.