STUPID HEADLINES 090113
It
is time once again for:
STUPID
HEADLINE SUNDAY
 |
| How do they do it? |
One
headline is completely made up. Guess the fake and win a mention.
__________________________
Anna Kendrick recommends drinking on a first date 'if sex
is off the table' – So
on her first date she usually has sex on a table?
Live grenade found near McDonald's in Vermont – Fast food
chain decides to discontinue the “McPineapple.”
New York Yankee Alex Rodriquez admits to taking performance enhancing drugs
- Yankee third baseman then sues manufacturers of these drugs for their
complete failure to enhance his performance.
 |
| Only missed by a foot! |
Connecticut man, 81, accidentally shoots self after
sneezing – Man swears he
didn’t know his nose was loaded.
Will Bernanke Announce Policy Changes
in Jackson Hole? – Oh no, I am not going to touch this one!
RI police arrest man naked and covered in Crisco* – Man wanted to join the Friars Club.
All 25,000 students who took University of Liberia
admission test fail – It
is a one question test, “Do you want to attend the University of Liberia?”
Atheists Call 9-11 Memorial Cross
“Grossly Offensive” –
I’ve got better shit to do than these ass holes, and I’m retired!
Teresa And Joe
Giudice Freak Out Over $5 Beach Fees – She is a “Real
Housewife of New Jersey?” Doesn’t everyone from New Jersey know you go in the
water when the beach-badge girl comes around!
Kim Jong-un's ex-girlfriend reportedly executed by firing
squad – You do not say,
“It’s not you; it’s me" to Kim Jong-un.**
Zimmerman's wife needs to 'think about' staying married –
Just don’t use your “Thinking Hoodie!”
Massachusetts
owes Obama $312.46 – Better pay up, he is the Commander-in-chief!
Video from Egypt shows Muslim mob attacking Christian
church, taking down cross – Big deal; just don’t draw a cartoon of
Jesus
Or
I KEEL YOU!!
**I apologize for making fun of this
atrocity. Kim’s ex and several others
were machine gunned down for participating in a “pornographic film.” They did not define “pornography.” The family members of these women were forced
to watch the execution and were then sent to Korean Prison Camps.
Kim Jong-un is a disgusting, deranged,
fat, shrived-dick pig.
___________________________
___________________________
Last week’s fake headline was:
Lindsey Lohan
declares, “I am drug and alcohol free!” – Well they do say the first 15 minutes
is the hardest!
The only winner was…(drum roll) FISHDUCKY!!!
fishducky
said...
I think it's
the Lindsey Lohan one.
Visit
fishducky and her knee slapping funny blog @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/
"All 25,000 students who took University of Liberia admission test fail"
ReplyDeleteYou must be really stupid when the U of L is your only choice remaining to beat the draft.
What? We don't have the draft any more? Nevermind then.
i hereby concede to fishducky. forever.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteI think the fake headline is about the Connecticut gentleman.
No guess this week, but I love the picture of Jeff Dunham & his terrorist!!
ReplyDeleteA McPineapple? I don't think so.
ReplyDeleteI go for the University of Liberia one this week. I would want to go to that could not make a test that not even one person could pass.
ReplyDeleteI'm going with the University of Liberia. I've heard of harsh admission standards, but this test makes it THE most exclusive school ever.
ReplyDeleteI don't know which one is fake but they're all winners. Much better entertainment than late night talk shows and I don't have to sit through endless commercials about wet bum wipes and discussions of vulgar dancing.
ReplyDeletep.s. Jackson Hole (just an hour from here) needs some policy changes but Bernanke isn't the one to do it.
I'm guessing it's the Crisco guy.
ReplyDelete