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Sunday, September 22, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 092213


STUPID HEADLINES 092213

It is time once again for:

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY

Ewww, don't waste it!
 
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments. 

 

One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.

 

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74-Year-Old Drives 3 Million Miles in Same Volvo – Just like a guy, 3 million miles and he still won’t ask for directions.

Why Judge Judy is the highest paid TV star in the world – Easy, because she is the best…don’t get me started, and do not mess with Judge Judy!!

Crayola introduces a pack of 28 different “flesh” color crayons – Colors go from “Pasty Honky White” to “Seal Black” with shades in between including “Fake tan Kardasian” and 15 different shades of “Michael Jackson.”

World's first 'invisible' skyscraper planned for South Korea – This is not a first, there are invisible skyscrapers all over the world, it’s just that no one can find them.

French Senate votes to ban child beauty pageants – It’s about time, how can the Senate conduct business with a child beauty pageant going on?

John Sterling blows Alex Rodriguez callJust four little letters away from being a major news story!

One in 8 workers will never retireThat is difficult for me to believe!

Seven out of eight workers will eventually be fired* – Oh, now I get it.

Clicking 'Like' on Facebook is free speech, court rules – Court also rules that “lol” is stupid.

California college bars student from handing out copies of Constitution – That, of course, is unconstitutional, but the students will never know.

Syria moves chemical weapons again, motive unclear – Ok, here is the pea, keep your eye on the shell.  Over here, over there, in the middle?  Where oh where?


Two teens attack one's mom, plan to eat her liver – Must be one special recipe, my mom had to force me to eat her liver.


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Last week’s FAKE stupid headline was:

Gun toting skydiver shoots chute – “G  E  R  O  N  I  NO!”

Sadly the “human toe” cocktail headline was real.

There was only one winner…guess who got it…FISHDUCKY

 

Honorable mention goes to TexWisGirl who said:

          TexWisGirl said...

oh, this is a tough week. :) i'm going with transparent car. or whatever fishducky picks...

Check out TexWisGirl for picture stories of birds, dogs, turtles, fences and more…trust me, it is good stuff!


 

          fishducky said...

TexWisGirl & I are voting for the skydiver!!

Only check out this blog if you like to laugh!


 

 

*This does not count as the fake…Fishducky knew that!


14 comments:

  1. FISHDUCKY ROCKS!!! :)

    alright. this week... i'm going for the 3 million mile volvo. come on, now! 'cuz i really hope the crayola flesh box is real! :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. In spite of your disclaimer, one in eight workers eventually gets fired. (In spite of the fact I was fired once.)

    You watch way too much Fox News.

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  3. I think the kids eating their mom's liver is the fake one. Eeeooo and yuk

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  4. Flesh colored crayons!!!

    Has to be because my brother drove his Volvo about 3 million miles but still found his way back home.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh... and I figured one in eight will never retire because they'll die on the job.

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  6. The fake headline....
    I'm going to guess that it's the Judge Judy one. I think you are just a tad bit too biased ... doe she live in Jersey or something? a relative of yours? How can she be the highest paid? I've seen the show and meh, just not all that impressed.

    Bring back Wapner!

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  7. Flesh colored crayons--did you know that "peach" used to be called "flesh"? (I love the invisible skyscraper!!)

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  8. I am calling Judge Judy the fake. Please don't let her get wind of it. There must be a higher-paid TV star. Whether they can recognize that it's not raining when somebody pees on their leg remains to be seen.

    I must say, I enjoyed your "blown call" and "unconstitutional Constitution" comments greatly.

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  9. Notice they never mention how much it cost the guy (or the Volvo PR people) to keep that 3,000,000 mile car going. Maybe he was just trying to stay one step ahead of the guy handing out pink slips.

    S

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  10. Nah....I won't even try. But I want you to know that I really loved these today Guffawed at the first one abd did not stop. Thank you, darling.

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  11. I am got with Crayola introduces a pack of 28 different “flesh” color crayons. I am sure the "oh I am offended" people would be having fusing. But I would like to see the redneck red.

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  12. That Crayola one sounds pretty fake to me.

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  13. I think I'll go with 3 million miles. The longest any car I've ever had has made it is around 250,000, so 3 million sounds crazy!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I WILL get this right eventually. One day. I'll go with the Constitution one.

    ReplyDelete

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