ROAD RAGE
Several weeks ago my son asked me to be “Judge.” Apparently he was driving south through North Carolina with his family when someone passed him and threw out a cup of soda. Intentional or not, the soda splashed my son’s car and windshield. Several miles down the road, he passed this transgressor. My son was the passenger, and as they passed he threw out a box load of popcorn he had been eating. The popcorn flew over the other car and some even went in an open driver’s window.
My daughter-in-law thought that this was a really stupid and childish act, especially as they had two sleeping toddlers in the back seat. Matt called me asking “Was I wrong? Devon says what I did was stupid.”
As “Judge” I asked two questions:
What did the other driver do?
And
Did it feel good?
“The other driver slowed way down, we never saw him again, and it felt really frickin good!”
The “Judge’s” decision? “You got away with a really stupid act. Were you actually in North Carolina?”
“Yes.”
“Then you were extra stupid and extra lucky. They hunt in North Carolina. They carry guns in NC just in case they see game!”
This incident reminded me of a similar event of my youth. An event that was very stupid, an event where I was very lucky, and an event which made me feel really frickin good!
It was 1969 and I was driving through Philadelphia heading for a job interview. I was stopped at a traffic light in my hot 1968 VW bug. The exact moment that the light turned green, the car behind me leaned on the horn. I figured he was impatient, but damn! I didn’t even have time to release the clutch. I was pissed!
I got out of the car and slowly walked back to his car. He was leaning on the horn all the way. When I got to his window he rolled it down and started yelling at me to get moving.
“Oh. You want me to move? I assumed you were trying to tell me there was something wrong with my car. No problem, sir, I’ll move. I can do that because as you can see the light is now green.”
I returned slowly to my car and waited until just as the light hit amber and then I pulled out. The impatient asshole behind me, purple with rage and still cursing and beeping, could not follow in time. He was stuck for another stop light rotation.
In retrospect this was a really stupid move. You never know what kind of a nut is in that other car. At least I wasn’t in North Carolina; still it was very stupid.
BUT
Damn did it ever feel good!
We've all done something like that at some point. I used to regularly yell and honk and overtake people in revenge. These days I never would, I'm way too mindful of the potential danger. Probably the last time I really yelled and honked at an idiot on the road was a good 12 years ago. I can't remember what the other guy had done (but it was something where he was COMPLETELY in the wrong of course - he probably cut me off or something). I honked loudly at him and he slammed on the brakes then just sat there in the middle of this little street we were in, with the engine indling and be behind him. It was really menacing and scary. Then he started the engine and as I drove past him he followed me for ages. I was quite close to home but no way was going there! I was wondering where the nearest police station was when he eventually drive off. Anyway that cured me of my road rage!
ReplyDeletei don't push those buttons any more. just not worth the risk...
ReplyDeleteSometimes these crack headed dolts, get what they bloody well deserve. Both moves were pretty brazen and bold and I'm quite sure felt pretty frikken good to hand it down to them.
ReplyDeleteYour son may have been in NC, but where were the plates on his car from? The offender may have seen his plates and thought the people from his home state are pretty freakin nuts. Better not to mess with him...
I would never do that because I'm too chicken--BUT I'VE WANTED TO!!
ReplyDeleteYour daughter-in-law said "this was a really stupid and childish act." I would have to agree. Likewise, the moron who threw a soda out the window was just that -a moron. However, it has nothing at all to do with gun possession.
ReplyDeleteI would have let it go, no matter what another driver did. I would never allow my actions to contribute to road rage in any way, shape, or form. However, if some crack head lunatic was intent on doing deadly violence like One Bad Pixie suggests, wouldn't it be better to be armed?
Just thought I'd fry some grits for your readers!
Coming up with a balance between what is reasonable versus what feels good is always a challenge. So far I haven't had any road rage issues but then I don't enjoy driving and do as little of it as possible.
ReplyDeleteGood for you! Impatient and moronic drivers need to get their faces extra purple once in a while. As for tossing soda and popcorn, there are laws, if you get caught, but I still bet it felt good.
ReplyDeleteTough call. I'd have to go with 50.001 dumb, 49.999 feels good....I would very reluctantly let it go.
ReplyDeleteS
I honk at inattentive drivers. Not the minute the light turns green. I give them a few seconds. I honk at drivers careening toward me IN MY LANE just to jolt them out of their daydream or text. I can't believe how often this occurs now.
ReplyDeleteI do not toss revenge out my window. Though I DO wish I had some fancy Inspector Gadget gewgaws to jettison to make tailgaters back the eff off.
Yeah, A lot of times I resist doing something nasty when I see soda cans being thrown out of SUVs and Trucks. My car is small and I am afraid that the can might crack the windshield.
ReplyDelete… what I would have done if I were the passenger is get the license number and reported littering.
ReplyDeleteI would have and have driven by and given a ~ you dumbass ignert son of bitch~ look. Because I was driving, I couldn't take a picture of the license plate or get his number… but by damn I can give looks.
But I would not have contributed to the litter by throwing a popcorn box out. can not stand littering plus that's moving on down to the dumbass' level. but then I'm damn near perfect.
Coincidentally, just a couple days ago, someone sped by me as I was changing lanes, causing me swerve. I blew the horn after the fact because I was too busy trying to save my life, maneuvering the steering wheel. Just ahead, the green minivan looked like it was scaring someone else, too. I hoped it would get caught at a light because I had my pen ready to write the tag number down, but it turned a corner. I wondered if that was to escape me and the other driver before we could throw some popcorn at him or her. :)
ReplyDeleteToo bad we don't always have the foresight to know that it's not worth it to jeopardize our lives; that we are lucky and/or blessed to continue on with our day.