NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, September 29, 2013

STUPID HEADLINES 092913


STUPID HEADLINES 092913

It is time once again for:

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
It's just a tiny suit, he only wants a little money, even just small change.  Most suits would dwarf his claim.

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments. 


One headline is completely made up.  Guess the fake and win a mention.



__________________________

Music score may have secret code leading to Nazi gold, filmmaker says – So now they’re digging up “The Camptown Racetrack.”

1 in 500 patients wakes up on operating table, researcher claims –
What’s even worse, half of those only came in for a check-up.

Cards Safety Loses Finger In Glove – How do you lose a finger in a glove?  How far could it go?

Male Zoo gorilla to get therapy for sexist attitude – Dr. Phil to teach gorilla to do dishes and take out the trash.  “It ain’t my first rodeo, but he’s got to stop acting like an animal!”

99-year-old Iowa woman gets high school diploma – And that will be part of her PERMANENT record!

Wonder Bread returns to shelves – Just in time; I need a nutrition-less, tasteless, gluten fix.   

Bigfoot sighted at mall in Paramus New Jersey – Unfortunately not one of the 11,000 cell phones in the Mall was able to get a picture of the beast.

Legless lizards found in California – Scientists have named them “Snakes!”

Storm in a D-cup -- UK launches sports bra probe – If they need inspectors I am available!

Man with completely blue skin dies at 62 – Does anyone even edit these headlines?  Obviously that should be “dyed at 62.”

Michelle Obama: President Quit Smoking – Well done Mr. President, that is very difficult to do, especially when you have a stressful job.

ATF misplaced 420 million cigarettes in stings – Hmmm…President Obama…are you hiding something from Michelle?


Victoria's Secret CEO reportedly involved in sexy scandal – Shhhhh I’d tell you more, but it’s a…you know.


Woody Allen pals around with convicted child sex creep – That is just sick and disgusting.  That convicted child sex creep has no shame…paling around with Woody Allen? Yeeech!!

 
 


Last week’s fake headline was:

Crayola introduces a pack of 28 different “flesh” color crayons – Colors go from “Pasty Honky White” to “Seal Black” with shades in between including “Fake tan Kardasian” and 15 different shades of “Michael Jackson.”

Twelve guesses; four winners.  And the winners are:

          fishducky said...

Flesh colored crayons--did you know that "peach" used to be called "flesh"? (I love the invisible skyscraper!!)  Yes Fran we did know that!

Go tell Fran how smart she is @ http://fishducky.blogspot.com/  Her posts are real funny too!

           

            TexWisGirl said...

FISHDUCKY ROCKS!!! :)

alright. this week... i'm going for the 3 million mile volvo. come on, now! 'cuz i really hope the crayola flesh box is real! :)

Sorry TexWis, you should have gone with Fishducky…no mention for your fine blog with wonderful nature photos @ http://run-a-roundranch.blogspot.com/

 And I agree, Crayola should add the “flesh” color box!


Flesh colored crayons!!!

Has to be because my brother drove his Volvo about 3 million miles but still found his way back home.

Not so sure of his logic, but visit Uncle Skip @ http://lionskip.blogspot.com/

Lots of good stuff, plus everyone should have at least one Uncle Skip!


I go with Crayola introduces a pack of 28 different “flesh” colored crayons.  I would like to see “redneck red.”

“Redneck Red?”  Visit the politically incorrect Mountain Man @ http://danmtnman.blogspot.com/

Pictures and some good old NC common sense from the Mountain Man!


Stephen Hayes said...

That Crayola one sounds pretty fake to me.

If you are not following Stephen @ http://www.chubbychatterbox.com/

WHY NOT?

10 comments:

  1. okay, i'm going for bigfoot this week.

    the gorilla was transferred out of the dallas zoo this week. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. No guess this week--my brain is tired!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. My vote goes for the D-cup. Maybe it's just jealousy.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Can't believe I got one right. I should quit while I'm still behind but this week I'll go with the Bigfoot sighting.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I will go with the Male Zoo Gorilla as the fake this week. The sad thing it is not the one that sounds the most fake. I am just guess on this one since it seems to be a waste of time.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "ATF misplaced 420 million cigarettes in stings"

    Tell 'em to look where they sent all those assault weapons they sold to the Mexican drug lords in that sting-gone-bad.

    They seem to run a lot of bad stings, don't they? If I didn't know better I might actually think....

    S

    ReplyDelete
  7. my vote is for the male gorilla getting therapy from dr phil. i'm just not buying that one at all.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Going to go with the male gorilla thing, although I have seen their human counterparts acting much like them in a relationship, and I just want to fling 'do at them.

    Is that tacky?

    ReplyDelete
  9. I'm hitching my fake wagon to Bigfoot. Surely he'd stay away from a mall, knowing how many more people would be messin' with him than just some yahoos out on a country road, not giving him his Jack Links. Okay, technically, that was Sasquatch, but I'm pretty sure they're cousins.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm going with Obama quitting smoking.

    ReplyDelete

I love comments, especially some of my commenters are funny as heck!

Oh, and don't be shy, Never miss a Cranky Post.

Sign up for an email of every post...over there...on your right...go on!