HOW DO I LOOK?
OK, this is something that makes me cranky. Men today spend hours in front of the mirror trying to look like they could care less. What really coddles my milk is that women seem to like this look; the “I’m so cool I don’t even groom” look.
You know the look. The hair is gelled in such a way that it looks like the dude just woke up and never brushed out his bed-head. There are tufts of hair going in all different directions. Often these tufts are mysteriously bleached by the “Sun” at the very tips of each tuft. It must take hours of grooming every day to look like you spend no time grooming your hair at all. Juxtaposing with this “accidental” semi-gay hair style is the rugged “I ain’t got time to shave” three day old stubble-beard.
How does one achieve a three day old stubble-beard every day? He must have to shave some stubble off every day and do it in a random way so that it does not look like a groomed beard. It must be extremely time consuming to achieve the “I just got out of bed, and ain’t got time to shave” look.
How does this modern day Beau Brummell dress? He dresses like he is just too cool to care. He wears slightly washed out jeans with a split on one knee. He has a plain tee shirt worn under a designer sports jacket. He has expensive OJ Simpson loafers but does not have time to wear socks. On his wrist is the requisite Rolex watch. This is the completed “I can afford an expensive sports coat, shoes and watch but I really don’t give a shit how I look” look.
What really disturbs me about this new “LOOK” is that I had most of it down pat when I was a “young dude” and it never got me a second glance from the ladies. My hair was quaffed in the genuine bed-head style. It took me zero seconds to achieve that look, which varied only slightly from day to day. I had the perfect “I don’t give a shit three day stubble-beard” every three days. The only thing missing from my attire was the designer sports coat, Rolex watch and Bruno Magli shoes.
I was ahead of my time back in the day. I was a trend setter without knowing it. I was the best of the worst dressed.
Where is my credit?