THE BIKER BAR
My step-son just turned 21. He is a good kid, law abiding and sensible. I don’t believe he has ever had more than a beer or a Jack-and-coke prior to his turning the momentous age of 21.I felt that it was my duty to help him break in that first legal, sit at the bar drink. Last night we went to Bellos, a biker bar in Sayreville, N.J. With TV screens on every walls blasting out two baseball games, a preseason football game, and horse racing from somewhere, we bellied ourselves up to the bar. Hoo Hoo Hoo! (My apologies to Tim Allen.)
We were surrounded by dudes with head scarves, long hair, beards and tattoos. Arh Arh Arh! We nodded friendly like to the guy on our right with the “Go F*** Yourself” tattoo on his bicep; pulled up a seat and ordered two beers. My step-son, who, despite his fuzzy “Shaggy of Scooby Do” goatee looks only twenty, got carded for his first time.
Along with the beers, we ordered burgers and fries, ogled the barmaids, and bumped fists. Hoo Hoo Arh Arh Hoo! When the food came we ordered another beer. I pointed out all the old dudes flirting with the young hot barmaids who smiled back alluringly and imparted my first nugget of wisdom. “They are all going to go home drunk and alone.” Step-son nodded.
Before we finished the burgers I ordered two shots of whiskey. More wisdom nuggets, “Take a small sip, then clink glasses and throw it back.” Hoo Hoo Arh Arh Oh Oh!
More wisdom, “Do you notice how the cute barmaids are even cuter?” Step-son nodded with vigor.
Finished with the food, we ordered two more beers, ogled the barmaids some more, and then ordered two more whiskies.
I paid the tab, we took a sip of the whiskey, clinked glasses, threw back the rest of the shot, bumped fists Arh Arh Oh Oh Hoo Hoo, and left.
We got home and watched our favorite TV show via On Demand “Hell’s Kitchen.” As we were very tired we both fell asleep before Gordon Ramsey could shout out his first “IT’s RAAAAW! COME ON!!”
Nobody got sick, no one acted stupid. The kid done good!
***edited out of respect for Melanie’s Crowning Moments blog hop.