Attempted suicide by Statue of Liberty – The lady in the harbor is now on watch 24/7.
Ohioan, 94, Wakes Up to Find Blimp in Backyard – Senior tweeted WTF! And went back to sleep.
North Dakota, NCAA spar over mascot – NCAA deems the University of North Dakota’s mascot, “The Fighting Sioux” offensive to Native Americans. The university agreed to change the mascot to “The Fighting Sue.” The National Organization of Women intend to challenge the name of the new mascot.
Wiener War: Sara Lee, Kraft Battle Over Hot Dogs – Congressman swears he never tweeted Sara, Lee, or Kraft.
Bachmann wishes Elvis happy birthday on death date – OK, I’m conservative and really wanted to like her but you’ve got to get the Elvis thing right. Do you even have advisors to listen to?
Aliens Could Attack Earth to End Global Warming, NASA Frets – All right! You win! I’ll turn down the heat and drive less!!