NEW AND IMPROVED

This blog is now sugar FREE, fat FREE, gluten FREE, all ORGANIC and all NATURAL!!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Headlines 050612

Headlines 050612

It’s Sunday, time for Cranky’s silly headlines and my stupid, sophomoric and sometimes offensive comments.   

New York City mulling happy-hour ban – City officials believe a happy New York minute should be sufficient.

Elderly sisters, ages 94 and 93, fight off armed carjacker in New Jersey - Sergio Fernando Solórzano-Vasquez, armed with a knife got his ass kicked by two old ladies!  I just love this.  Way to go- Sergio Fernando Solórzano- Vasquez;  you win PUSSY-OF-THE-YEAR!!!

Water Guns Banned, Handguns Allowed at GOP Convention – Bullets don’t scare Republicans, but watered down rhetoric….?  

Pettitte says he might have misunderstood conversation with Clemens about human growth hormone –Ex-Yankee pitcher says,  “Roger is a pretty serious guy, now that I think about it he might have said Humor growth hormone.”

Sheriff's deputy fired after making inmates dance to Usher song – Usher? That is cruel and unusual punishment!

Students Suspended For Hugging – They claim they were starting to prepare for their oral exams.

Pottery reportedly given to Goodwill may well be prehistoric – Sure Goodwill takes used stuff but prehistoric?  Come on.

Mysterious origin of Solomon Islands’ dark-skinned blonds revealed – Clairol…Hello!

‘Loch Ness Monster’ ordered to leave Wisconsin river – Monster following defective GPS took a left at Glasboro and ended up in Wisconsin river by mistake.
Spirit bows to pressure: Airline CEO to refund dying veteran's fare Now that the horses have left the pen, might as well close the gate….ASSHOLES!

4 comments:

  1. I like the one about banning water guns at the Republican Convention, but real guns are okay. Makes me scratch my head.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sergio Fernando Solorzao-Vesquez sould like a real loser alright, provided he's not 110 himself.

    S

    ReplyDelete
  3. Lowandslow has a point Cranky...if the carjacker was over 100 himself...maybe he just wanted a date?
    Smiles - A.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Loved the banned water guns one. LOL

    ReplyDelete