FOR WHOM SHOULD I VOTE?

FOR WHOM SHOULD I VOTE?

This year Americans will vote for the person who will govern this fine country for the next four years.  I am not politically astute but I realize this is an important position so I have done some research as to who is best equipped to be our President.

Our choice for the next four years is apparently going to be between our current President Obama, and Businessman ex-governor Mr. Romney.  In searching the internet, this is what I have found about these two choices.

President Obama used to be known by a different name, Barry something.  He does not have a birth certificate, is a Muslim, hung out with shady characters in his youth, and is a white hating racist drug taking possibly gay man.  He advocates killing babies.  He hates America and wants to take money from all the rich people in the country, give it away in the form of free health care and direct payments to the poor and otherwise waste it so America will become bankrupt.  He used to be a pot head and he smokes cigarettes. 

He has a very strange first name.

That doesn’t sound like someone I want to be my President.

The other choice is Mr. Romney.  It turns out he is a mean uber-rich person who made his fortune on the backs of poor working people.  He is a Mormon and probably has multiple wives.  Mr. Romney ties dogs to the roof of his car and drives to Canada while the dog defecates and vomits all over the car.  In college he was a bully and he tortured gay people.  His wife has never worked a day in her life and is a complete freeloading stay-at-home mom who has slaves to raise her children while she gets mani-pedis and eats bonbons.  Mr. Romney wants to make rich people richer and poor people poorer.   Mr. Romney wants women who get pregnant through rape to have and raise the baby.

Mr. Romney has a very strange first name.

That doesn’t sound like someone I want to be my President.

Further research has shown me that if it were not for President Obama, unemployment today would be much higher.

OR

President Obama is at fault for the high rate of unemployment.

I’m confused

According to some people, Mitt Romney would never have allowed Osama Bin-laden to be assassinated.

OR

President Obama delayed Osama’s assassination because he wanted him to get away because Obama is an American hating Muslim.

I’m confused.

President Obama believes Gay couples should have the same rights as married people….sometimes….maybe….depending on his audience.

Huh?

Mitt Romney believes Gay people can change and become straight.

What?

If I am to believe all I read on the internet we are DOOMED!

I think I will vote for whomever Elvis endorses.