Headlines 052712

Headlines 052712

It is Sunday and here are Cranky’s goofy headlines and my stupid, sophomoric sometimes offensive comments!

Will Smith slaps male reporter for kissing him – Smith insists reporter at least buys him a drink first (rim shot).

Iraq war veteran fights to keep license plates Virginia deems offensive to Arabs – Vet insists “TWLHDSSK” are the initials of his future children: Thomas, William, Lewis, Henry, Donna, Sara, Sam and Ken.

Pastor delivers anti-gay rant, suggests building electric fence around ‘queers and homosexuals’ – OK, maybe build a fence around queers, but queers AND homosexuals?

Former CNN exec videotaped putting dog feces in neighbor's mailbox – Executive is arrested for failing to pay proper postage.

Washington man accused of hitting noisy kid at a theater – Seriously, who hasn’t wanted to do that?

Ancient Bethlehem seal unearthed in Jerusalem – Finding a seal proves that Israel was once under the ocean (I’m sorry, that was weak).

Global warming winner: Once rare butterfly thrives – Scientists are baffled at species ability to adapt positively to the massive 1% temperature rise this past 100 years.  Evolution?  

Tim Tebow did not become a great quarterback today – I’ve heard of slow news days, but this is ridiculous!

Man Admitted to Hospital for Kidney Stone, Discovers He's a Woman – This is why I go for regular check- ups.

Device May Let Humans Talk to Dolphins – Eck eck ek ek ek ek ek….ECK?  

Escaped cows spotted drinking beer after crashing party in small Massachusetts town – Bovines are arrested for flashing their teats.

Porn star Jenna Jameson gets DUI after hitting pole – A porn star on a pole?  This is really a slow news day!

Next Sunday June 3, is the Cut-a-thon: Cuts for a cure of Pancreatic cancer.  See:

http://joeh-crankyoldman.blogspot.com/2012/05/help-end-pancreatic-cancer.html

Donations can be made through:

http://www.lustgarten.org/page.aspx?pid=765&tab=0&frsid=17005