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Wednesday, May 2, 2012



I love you; oh those three little words.  They mean so much, yet they can mean so little.  My family does not use these words lightly or often.

I don’t believe my Dad ever said those words to me.  He worked long hard days for me.  He was always there for me.  He supported me in sports and paid for my lousy grades in school.  We fished together, sailed together, bowled together and golfed together.  He taught me to be a good person.  He never said I love you.  I don’t believe I ever said I love you to him.

My Mom never said those words to me.  She gave me a nice home life.  She cleaned, washed, and cooked.  She doctored my cuts and scrapes.  She took care of me when I was ill.  She was there with a philosophical answer for every problem and situation.  She never said I love you.  I don’t believe I ever said I love you to her.

I never felt unloved by my Mom and Dad.

I have been in two relationships where those words were used often.  In one relationship I never left the house without saying and hearing them.  I was always told when seeing or leaving my grown children, “Say I love you…go on…say it.”  Both of these relationships ended with my partner leaving for someone else.  With one of them I was reading a note planted in my suitcase while I was away on a trip.  The note said “I love you.”  As I was reading the note, she was with another man.

My culture or at least the culture of my family does not use these words lightly.  Often we do not use them at all.  I used to joke about that.  I used to be ashamed that the words came with such difficulty.

I have come to realize that when the words come easy, their meaning is diminished.  Actions are more important than words, however if there is any doubt, for this one time only, here it comes:

To Mrs. Cranky; Karen – I love you

To my brother Chris and sister-in-laws Mary Stewart and Judy – I love you

To my Cranks; Mary Beth, Mike, Matt, and Spencer- I love you

To my Crankettes; Tommy, Halley, Graham, Cole and Connor – I love you

To my daughter-in-law Devon – I love you

To my step cranks; Casey and Peter – Yes I love you guys too

There it is. 

                     I said it. 

                                    I mean it. 

                                                      Don’t ask me again!    


  1. I once loved a person so deeply and strongly, yet never got the chance to tell them how I felt. I lived without closure for a few years before hearing from them again. When I finally got the chance to talk to them- it was one of the first things I said. They know it now. I have closure. Life can go on.

    My person heard it- your people have it in print. You are Awesome that way Mr. Cranky.

  2. My mamma told me she loved me when she was very, very old. She wanted me to know if all the years of hardship she endured for my sake were not enough for me to know it. I'm glad you told your loved ones how you feel's something to be treasured. Smiles - Astrid

  3. I do agree that actions are more important than words, but I'm not sure I agree with "when words come easy, their meaning is diminished." I can understand why you would feel that way, but I for one say it often and mean it. You never know if you'll ever see the person you're saying it to ever again, and I don't want to depart this earth ( could happen!) without them knowing exactly how I felt about them.


  4. thank you! and i do love you too!
    (jerk, you made me cry at work)
    hey, can't let the readers think the blog about calling you a jerk was a lie ... you're the best!

  5. This was very touching, Cranky. I know you are a softie deep within. I can tell your love runs deep for those special people.

    I tell my kids I love them every day. The words come easily but are not said lightly. Ever.

    Between a man and a woman, I can see your point...

  6. Love your post Cranky!
    I have to be honest and admit that I say those 3 little words every day, but I know that I can only say them when they are true. I have never been someone who can say them glibly or without thought.

    I tell my children and S every morning that I love them, and every night before they or I go to sleep. The thought that something would happen to me without my getting to tell them haunts me. Perhaps it is a throwback from my past life when every day I felt my life was threatened - who knows!

    All I can be sure of is that along with saying those 3 little words, I make sure that I show those I love that I love them too - because as you pointed out - actions speak so much louder than words.

    Lou :-)

  7. My thoughts echo those of Lowandslow. Mrs. Chatterbox is very free with the "I love yous" and I like hearing it.

  8. JH very emotional birthday post... happy b-day my friend. Be well.

  9. OK Cranky you just made me tear up just a little. The note in the suitcase and her being with another not cool.

    My mother was not a big I love you person but I knew she did. I say I love you to my little one as much as I can because I want her to hear it something I did not when I was growing up. Great post and very touching...sniff.


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