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Wednesday, May 9, 2012



I don’t like shopping.  I don’t like grocery shopping.  I don’t like shopping for appliances.  I don’t like shopping for plants and gardening stuff. 

I HATE shopping for clothes!

I need a new wardrobe.  I retired several years ago and none of my suits fit anymore.  I need casual and dress shoes; I even need new underwear and undershirts. I have about 75 ties.  Mrs. Cranky hates them all.  All of my ties were purchased for me by previous wives.  Women hate any tie that they did not buy for their man.  I need new ties.

Mrs. Cranky took me shopping today.  She was in heaven.  Mrs. Cranky loves to shop for clothes.  She picked out three suits for me.  I only wear a suit these days to weddings or funerals.  There is a good chance that one of these suits may be worn for the first time at my funeral.

Mrs. C was in ecstasy mixing and matching ties and shirts to go with my new suits.  She bonded Jos. A Banks salesman, Ron, matching colors.  They were practically giddy over the process.   

Ron did bail me out on one issue.  Several weeks ago I purchased casual shoes by my big boy-self (I Know right!)  I bought a pair of brown loafers to go with a new sports coat.  Turns out they are really burgundy and Mrs. C said they did not go with the sports jacket.  Ron convinced her that burgundy and brown can go together quite nicely.

Thanks Ron.   

The only thing I had to do in this process is try stuff on.  I insisted my pant waist should be 38 inches.  Ron, not wanting to embarrass me, whispered, “Dude 38 inches pulled out of the station a long time ago.  I found that I could breathe better at 40 inches so I gave in.

After 2 hours, my absolute shopping limit, we left the store with three suits, six shirts, six ties and a job offer for Mrs. Cranky. 

RT – I love Microsoft spell check, but I insist I bought six ties, and it should not be sixties.
It should be many years before I need to clothes shop again.


  1. I don't mind clothes shopping so much, but I figure it's because I pretty much know what I want before I ever get to the store. What I don't care for is when they don't have what I want and try to sell me something else.

  2. I hope we don't see you in that one suit ( the one you expect to be buried in) anytime soon.

  3. I am wondering why you need so many suits, shirts and ties now you are retired? Hmmmm

    I think I would have kitted you out in linen casual shirts and khakis.

    Thankfully S is happy for me to shop for him and dutifully wears whatever I buy for him as he knows that as smart as he is - his dress sense is quite literally pants!

    I should mention that he dutifully pays Mens Warehouse $50 a month even though he hasn't shopped there for an age, and I don't shop there

    Also for the record - I have bought my husband only 3 ties and he probably has as many as you do. One of the one I bought for him he hates with a passion, the other 2 - th snoopy ones he loves and wears regularly. I have no issue with his other ties and have never even thought about who may have bought them!!!

    Lou :-)

  4. It's a plot and a ploy Cranky. Now you've got all that lovely new gear, you have to wear it while taking Mrs. C. to new and exotic places. Well done Mrs. C!

  5. For me it's into the Mens Wearhouse, meet the alterations guy, pay the nice people, and out the door....15 minutes tops. 'Course, I look like I picked my wardrobe in 15 minutes, too. ;)


  6. 3 suits does sound like rather a lot - I suspect Mrs C of having plans too!

  7. One for winter funeral, one for summer funeral one for a wedding. Plus Jos. A Bank was having a buy one (FOR AN EXORBATANT PRICE) get two free sale.

  8. SO FUNNY! Luckily my hubby used to have a second job as the guy selling stuff in Jos. A Banks so I never have to experience this one! But sounds like it was a blast......for the Mrs. anyways! I tend to bond over car shopping and such rather than clothing! Odd, I know.....

    Warmest regards,

  9. My husband hates to shop but he still chooses and buys his own clothes. I've never ever shopped for clothes for him. He's an adult and I'm not his mother.

    I don't understand why so many women choose their husbands' wardrobes. It's the man on the inside that counts, not what he's wearing on the outside.

  10. Since I retired its Trakkie pants, sneakers and cotton/flannel shirts. Might put on a pair of slacks and an good shirt if we are going out to dinner - other than that I'm a real 'dress slob'! lol!

  11. I have one of those men who actually likes to shop so I am fortunate. Why so many suits I thought you were retired. I bet you look spiffy

  12. My ex was a spiffy dresser and liked to shop. Now I know, don't trust a man who likes to shop!

  13. Michael Ann = OH oh should I worry mine does/

  14. cant say I am a fan of shopping. Too hot stores and too many people I try and avoid it.
    If you have time pop over to my blog


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