LINCOLN – A MOVIE REVIEW
CRANKY OPINION SATURDAY
Last week Mrs. Cranky and I went to see “Lincoln.” The acting was very good, the costumes authentic (I guess) and the story was just fascinating and enlightening.
Oh crap, I can’t do it. “Lincoln” is one of those movies that you are just supposed to love. It is a movie you are expected to rave about. Everyone raves about these certain movies, but I am sorry, I have to say, “The emperor had no clothes!” That’s right, I did not like this movie and I am betting if truth be told most people also did not like it but are afraid to say so.
This movie is long…too long. It has no action. No action at all! Yes it is historical, but I didn’t understand half of the political crap that was going on. It would take another viewing to figure it all out. Another viewing? No friggin way; I already wasted 140 minutes of my life, I don’t intend to do it again. For a movie that is so universally acclaimed I doubt very many people will ever see it twice. Hell, I’ve seen “The Green Mile” 178 times and would see it again. Lincoln? Once is too much.
Part of my problem with “Lincoln” is I have my doubts about the historical accuracy of the portrayed events but I am too lazy and apathetic to do the research (Frog?*).
The other issue I have with this movie besides it being a giant snore fest is my own controversial, politically incorrect position on the Civil War. In my cranky opinion, the Civil War was the worst, most stupid war we have ever fought. It was as bad and as useless as the Viet Nam, Iraq, and Afghanistan Wars combined.
Seven-hundred and fifty thousand Americans were killed, probably an equal number were maimed and this from a population of under 30 million. Imagine, over 10% of the men in the country killed or maimed (that would be 15 million in today’s numbers) and much of the south burned and destroyed. There was one dead or maimed soldier for every male slave over the age of 15 that was freed. I know, I know, the war freed the slaves and preserved the Union…God bless America.
People of color in this country were not really set free for over 100 years after the War. In the South, especially, (the north was not much better) Blacks had no vote, had inferior educations, had no equal rights, and most were forced into jobs which allowed them to live lives barely above subsistence level; any real equality Black people earned after the Civil War came from their own insistence, protests and sacrifice.
If we had not fought the War would the South still have slavery today? Certainly not. It may have lasted another ten years, but if the repeal of slavery came out of peoples own sense of enlightenment and what is right, rather than being dictated to them from the North I believe the de-facto slavery of the next 100 years would have not been so severe and integration and equal rights would have come faster and at less expense.
Did the War preserve the Union? I guess, but at such a cost? If we had not fought the war would we have two separate countries today? I doubt it and if we did they would be so closely aligned that the separation would be mostly in name only.
I give “Lincoln” one out of five cranks.
Oh, and not to give it away, but in the end Lincoln gets shot.
*Frog is a lifelong friend and an expert in all things historical
That is my cranky opinion for this fine Saturday. If this does not elicit some scathing comments then I am just not doing my job!
The preceding opinions are from a Cranky Old Man, and not necessarily those of management…Mrs. Cranky.