STUPID HEADLINES 031013
It is time once
again for:
STUPID HEADLINE
SUNDAY
9 Secrets from a 73-Year Marriage – Always remember, the first 50 years are the hardest.
Georgia city may require all residents to own guns – Bullets are optional.
US accuses Iran of 'deception and delay' with nuclear
program – US also claims
Iran is not very nice, and their leaders have bad breath!
NYC mayor to target teens wearing loud earbuds - “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Never mind.” “WHAT?”
NYC mayor to target teens wearing loud earbuds - “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Turn those things down.” “WHAT?” “Never mind.” “WHAT?”
Florida bill would require anger management courses for
bullet buyers – Forced anger
management course? Great idea, piss off
people with guns!
Venezuela Expels 2 US Diplomats; Vice President Claims
Hugo Chavez was Poisoned – Joe
Kennedy would like to thank Citco, the people of Venezuela, and President Hugo
Chavez* for a couple of hundred
gallons of free fuel oil. Way to go Joe (YOU
SELL OUT!)
Paris Hilton poses for a picture
while boyfriend lays injured in the background – Paris goes kinky again in this picture! Article does not specify how many injured her
boyfriend laid in the background.
Al Gore sued over sale of Current TV to Al-Jazeera – Gore demands a recount!
Former VP was going to sell TV Station to the African nation, The
Republic of Chad, but that country kept him hanging.
(Oh stop friggin groaning)
North Korea vows nuclear attack on US, as UN prepares to
vote on sanctions – Dennis
Rodman remarks, “Other than the threat of nuclear annihilation, Kim is actually
‘a pretty cool dude.’”
Environmentalists
warn nuclear war could increase global warming, “In some places as much as 150,000,000
degrees!”
Texas Church
Plans to Hold Services in Bar – I don’t know about the sermon, but it
should be the best communion EVER!
Applebee’s waitress asks patron for
ID, gets own stolen driver’s license in return – Waitress refused to serve the thief,
“I’m sorry, but I’m not 21 yet!”
Lower tuition for illegal immigrant students passes
Colorado House – I have four
years to teach my son how to climb a fence
Kentucky police officer fined $2 for striking handcuffed suspect multiple times – Officer slapped a two-bit crook 16 times, fine seems about right.
Kentucky police officer fined $2 for striking handcuffed suspect multiple times – Officer slapped a two-bit crook 16 times, fine seems about right.
Oklahoma police find loaded gun hidden in woman's private
parts – Oklahoma police
the first men to ever find the “G” spot!
"Oklahoma police find loaded gun hidden in woman's private parts"
ReplyDeleteHey, I've seen some of those Okie women. You could hide a good-sized arsenal in their fat folds. I'd consider them all "armed and dangerous".
S
i did groan at the hanging chad... :)
ReplyDeleteI'm laughing, I'm groaning, I'm wondering......
ReplyDeleteHow and where do you find these gems week after week?
Most intriguing (and most convoluted comment)....Paris Hilton......WTF?
Don't know where you find these - you must spend hours dong research. Love them
ReplyDeleteNo groans here. Gore's hanging Chad was my favorite. Closely followed by kinky Paris Hilton.
ReplyDeleteOnce again--I LOVED it!!
ReplyDeleteI had an English teacher who drilled us in the fine distinction between "lays" and "lies."
ReplyDeleteClearly, the writer of the Paris Hilton bit did not have the same teacher.
A policeman gets fined two bucks for hitting someone, but I get one for a hundred dollars for driving on my own in a T2 lane? Where's the fairness in that! I should have hit the cop who wrote the ticket. He could have added the two bucks to the fine while he was there, it would have been totally worth it.
ReplyDeleteHaha Joe - where DO you find them???
ReplyDeleteThanks to you, I don't have to read the newspaper or watch the news. I get all my pertinent information from you. :)
ReplyDelete