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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

I Don’t Care That You Don’t Get It!

I Don’t Care That You Don’t Get It!

So I’m sitting in bed watching “The Anderson Cooper Show,” because I’m retired and I can, and the topic comes up that Tiger Woods is dating an Olympian Skier.  Interesting enough topic,…fair game considering Tiger’s Past, when out of the blue Anderson announces, “I don’t get golf!”

Somehow this grated my cheese. 

I guess because I am a golfer and for some reason people love to make fun of golf and golfers.  Golf is to sports as podiatry is to medicine.  But why does the game make you angry, Anderson? Why are the same old golf put downs fair game?

“I don’t get golf.  It just seems so silly chasing a little white ball all over a field only to try and put it in a little hole.  Whacking a little ball with a stick…what is the point?  I just don’t get it!”

Of course Anderson gets big laughs from his very sophisticated high- brow audience. 

Gee Anderson, I would think you of all people would be more understanding and sympathetic to an oft downtrodden persuasion.  Well I am proud to come out and admit I am a golfer, not a good one, but a golfer nonetheless.  And, Anderson, I don’t understand your thing.

I don’t understand men liking men.  But do I make fun of your thing.  No; I just say my choice is women.  I do not make judgments on your choice.  I don’t make chasing-ball-little-stick-hole-jokes about your passion.  I don’t say I don’t understand it as if it is something stupid or wrong.  What I do understand is you like men.  It is not a big deal and it is not complicated.  It is not something I like or dislike; it is just not my choice.  If asked I would simply just say, “I’m not gay.”  Why can’t you and others simply say, “I don’t play golf?”

Leave golfers alone, Anderson, unless you want to be boycotted by our new organization GLAAD (Golfers Loath All Angry Dudes.)

Oh, the above is intended as satire.  If it upsets your sensibilities, then it might be bad satire.  If that is the case then I apologize for bad satire 


  1. Surfer Dude doesn't get my obsession with cake - but that's ok, more cake for me ;)

  2. I thought the Anderson Cooper show had been cancelled. Anyway, shows what I know, but I think your satire is pretty good.

  3. When somebody like Anderson Cooper... and I mean celebrities, not guys who like guys... says they don't get golf, I pity them.

    They are missing a real opportunity.
    If they really gave it a chance, they would understand and embrace the game, no matter what skill level they had.

    Bear in mind I'm talking about playing golf and not standing in the fairway waiting for the beer cart.

  4. I always said golf was a waste of a perfectly good walk, probably because in my younger years my Dad used to drag me around as his caddy.

    I did have a couple of lessons and surprised myself by making contact between club and ball.

    Hubby used to be a semi-pro caddy and knows a lot about golf, although he doesn't play much anymore. His family are big on golf and when we get together they all go off and play a few rounds. One day I will join in I guess but only if I get good at the club and ball thing. I have always been way too competitive when it comes to sport, so if I don't think I am good enough to compete with my fellow players, I just won't play....

    I don't think my attitude is particularly good

  5. I gave up golf years ago. I found it extremely frustrating, even though I was fairly good at it. My last game I shot an 89. I'll admit, though, that was only on 17 holes. I didn't even try that one with the miniature windmill. ;)


  6. I don't play golf (pretty amazing when you consider that I'm retired Air Force) but I don't dislike the game. I did caddy one summer as a callow youth and it seemed to me at the time that many golfers don't like golf.

    But why pick on golf? I'd rather pick on celebrities.

  7. I LOVE GOLF!! I saw Anderson Cooper on Celebrity Jeopardy & concluded that he is not nearly as bright as he thinks he is!!

  8. I don't get Anderson Cooper! What's not to like about golf. Pleasant, but not excruciating exercise on beautiful courses, a reasonable challenge, fresh air, and it's non-violent.

  9. Golf is a game of skill. What's there not to get? It's not an easy game, by any means. I mean, I suck at miniature golf. I can only imagine how awful I'd be at regular golf where I have to hit the ball miles away in the hopes that it gets slightly near the hole that it's supposed to be in (instead of just in the hole of a windmill that's two feet away from me.)

    And yeah, those words coming from someone who doesn't want criticism for HIS preferences, he sure can throw out the digs towards others' choices. Ugh. Hypocrite.

  10. My husband is a golfer and I am going to be trying to do the golf thing in a few years. I hope I don't smash that golf club in someones face..Isn't this sport supposed to be relaxing....

  11. Obviously Mr. Cooper has never played the game. Pity

  12. Joe, your satire is always good, and I usually get it.

    And I don't play golf, but I do enjoy watching it and I think those pros are amazing.

  13. I don't get Anderson Cooper either.

    Good for you - my husband and son golf, and unlike many wives who whine and complain that their husbands want to spend so much time on the greens, I say 'go for it'. He enjoys it, he is out in fresh air, spending time with friends or family. I tried it, but stink so I occasionally just ride along in the cart for grins. It is actually very peaceful.


  14. Well, I never knew! I guess there had to be one in the family though!

  15. Ha Ha! Well said, Well spoken! I have a touch of A.D.D. so golf isn't really a game of choice for me personally, but I don't knock those who play it. My hubby used to play a little and the first time he took me with him I learned a good lesson. Just because I see balls laying around doesn't mean I should pick them up especially if they are on the green. Now, I didn't understand that lingo and said, look around you, everything is green. :)

  16. I agree with an earlier comment, golf is a game of skill. I love the concept of golf and have had lessons. I actually even whacked the ball pretty good a few times and felt good about myself. I am not destined to do much more of it because it either hurts my shoulder and now my stupid thumb is sporting arthritis and behaves like it belongs to someone 90 years old. Anderson should try "riding shotgun" in a golf cart with another golfer and enjoying other things about the greenway. Like the gin and tonics I pick up at the club house bar that make me oh so happy while I watch hubby swing his clubs and gripe about his game. There are many benefits to golf! I am a very good watcher. And I help fetch stray golf balls that have wandered into the tall grass...


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