STUPID HEADLINES 031713
It is time once again for:
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
Police find drugs inside Texas ice cream truck – I’ll have a Ganja one stick please.
Delta jet gets stuck in grass off Houston runway – (See above) Coincidence? I think not.
Iran puts five Christians on trial for their faith – From the people who chop off heads for
drawing cartoons that they don’t like!
Feds Spend $1.5 million to Study
Obese Lesbians – It
is more expensive than you would think; first you have to stun them, and then
put on the tracking collar. It is not an
easy process.
Saudi Arabia may stop beheadings over shortage of
swordsmen – Not enough Saudis
are majoring in Head Chopping at school?
Jennifer Love Hewitt says her breasts should be insured
for $5 million- Come on; you
can get new even better ones for around $5000.
Has The MBA Become A Worthless Degree? – Well compared to the NBA yeah.
Has The MBA Become A Worthless Degree? – Well compared to the NBA yeah.
University of Tennessee Uses Student
Fees to Host Lesbian Bondage Expert – “Sorry I missed class sir, I was kinda tied
up.”
Image of Ahmadinejad consoling
Chavez’s mother angers Iranian clerics – Is there anything that does not anger Iranian
Clerics?
GOP senator reverses gay-marriage
stance after son comes out – “And I repeat, the Bible says Adam and Eve, not Adam and Stev…what’s that
son…you're what?... As I was saying
Marriage is a right that all people regardless of gender orientation should be…”.
Maryland father appeals son's controversial pastry 'gun'
suspension – Father threatened
the school board, “I have a pancake and I’m not afraid to use it!”
Lucas Duda homers in Mets' win over
Braves – “New
York Met fans sing this song ____, ____ Mets ain’t won a pennant in oh so long,
oh the ____ day.”
Red Bull says blackmailers threatening feces in cans – Oh let them threaten, I don’t think “Feces in
Cans” will ever be a big seller anyway.
Best Birth Control for Older Women –
Older men.
Wine exports surge ... from Florida and New Jersey? – You might want to let the Jersey stuff breath for a year or two.
"I Used to be Stupid" is now available on Google Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook!!
Wine exports surge ... from Florida and New Jersey? – You might want to let the Jersey stuff breath for a year or two.
"I Used to be Stupid" is now available on Google Kindle and Barnes and Noble Nook!!
Love these weekly headlines.
ReplyDeleteSo... are they gonna tell us that obesity causes lesbianism?
ReplyDelete...or vice versa?
It's the darn Feds who're stupid on this one, not the headline.
You made my Sunday morning. Laughs are a blessing, my friend!
ReplyDeletereally good ones, cranky!
ReplyDeleteIs there anything that does not anger Iranian Clerics? Watch your back, Cranky.
ReplyDeleteYou're definitely on top of your game today, Cranky! On the subject of the cross-dressing deer, I know a few guys who had similar experiences when they undressed girls they picked up in at 2 AM in dark bars! ;-)
ReplyDeleteGood stuff Joe!
ReplyDeleteI've run out of superlatives for you today.........I'll just wipe away the tears and say "Thank you".
ReplyDeleteBut I have to admit that Duda really tickled me, but then, so did.......all the rest.
Big hug on its way.
Don't you be dissing the Florida wineries now...I live just down the street from one. They make wonderful blueberry wine!
ReplyDeleteHowever, the first two headlines (the ones making fun of Texas), are hilarious!
Thanks for the chuckles. As always, your comments cracked me up more than the headlines.
ReplyDeleteI need this post every Sunday. Always cracks me up, always makes my day brighter. Thanks for the laughs, and please always keep 'em coming :)
ReplyDeleteI think I laughed for two minutes straight when I got to the "I've got a pancake and I'm not afraid to use it!" line!
ReplyDelete"Red Bull says blackmailers threatening feces in cans"
ReplyDeleteHave you tasted Red Bull? That might actually be an improvement.
S