HEADLINES 111411

HEADLINES 111411

My Fraternity reunion caused me to miss last week’s HEADLINE post.  No one seems to have missed it; people must be just too shy to complain.  Well it is back; headlines from the last two weeks with my childish stupid comments!

Los Angeles approves hefty bite for barking dogs- If you thought the barking was annoying now they approve HEFTY BITES?

Utah Man, Shoots Neighbor for 'Telepathically Threatening' Him- Neighbor will now think twice before thinking!

Wisconsin Woman Accused of Killing Pregnant Woman And Fetus Pleads Insanity – I’m confused, they accuse a Wisconsin woman and the FETUS pleads insanity?

Former Parsippany man convicted of arranging killing of his wife loses appeal – Truth be told, he wasn’t all that appealing before the conviction.

Former Rugby Player Claims Stroke Turned Him Gay – And what a “STROKE” Rugby players masseuse specializes in happy gay endings!

Rhode Island Dog Named ‘Cutest Mutt Alive’ – Dog lost out in the world’s cutest mutt contest to a dead mutt from New Jersey, had to settle for the cutest mutt ALIVE title.

Bug Spray Bandit Robs California Bank Armed With Pesticide – I don’t know why a bank would be armed with pesticide but better they are robbed by a bug spray bandit than a money bandit.

Canada's Same-Sex Penguin Pair to Be Split Apart – Will they let them finish first?

Ohio Poll Worker Jailed in Voter Nose Bite Claim – I’m guessing his favorite candidate won by a…..never mind, I can’t do it.

Canada's Loch Ness Monster Caught on Tape? Monster caught in huge duct tape trap manages to swim away.

Texas scientist makes strands of ‘invisibility cloak’ – Unfortunately he misplaced them.  “I could have sworn I put them down over by the Bunsen burner!”

Former California Student Reportedly Claims Hazing at Jewish Fraternity –Student claims he was forced to pay retail!