TOP PLUMBER

TOP PLUMBER

I am a fan of reality TV.  Come on, it’s not just me, lots of people love this shit.  I am willing to admit it.  I watch “American Idol”, “America’s Got Talent”, “Top Chef”, “America’s Next Top Model”, and “Project Runway” (I know, I know, see “My Wife IS Turning Me Gay”).  These are all infectious shows, but it occurs to me a similar show involving less prestigious professions might be really entertaining.  I submit to you:

TOP PLUMBER 

This is an unsung profession which deserves some attention.  These professionals can clean a pipe, or replace a faucet in five minutes or less.  The same job takes me several hours and at least two trips to The Home Depot.

Just like Top Chef the show would first have a quick-fireflush test for immunity.

The host would have to be Rich Trethewey from “This Old House”

“OK plumbers, for today’s quick-flush you each have a backed up toilet.   You have ten minutes to clear the pipe using only a coat hanger and a Dixie cup.  Time starts…..NOW!”

The contestants, Vito from Brooklyn, Ellen from Houston, and Bruce from San Francisco all race to their bowls as the judges offer their expert opinions.

“How do you see the action ED?”

Ed the Plumber from the DIY Network –

“Rich, Vito is getting right to it.  He is making beautiful use of the hanger as a snake and the Dixie cup as a plunger.  Ellen is plunging first, snaking second.  I think that is a mistake, and I’m not sure what Bruce is up to.  He is just staring at the cup and hanger.”

“Thanks Ed.   What do you think is happening Joe?”

“Joe the Plumber” from the last presidential election-

“Rich I think we will all be out of work if Obama passes his tax bill.”

“Wha wha what?...Ah OK Joe, whatever.   OK plumbers, time is up, put down your tools.  Judges, what do you think?  ED?”

“Rich, Vito made great use of the hanger as a snake, Ellen concentrated too much on plunging, and Bruce what were you even thinking?”

“Ah…this isn’t project runway is it?”

“No.”

“Oops! Buh bye.”

“Judges it’s down to two, Joe how do you vote?”

“Rich, I vote Republican straight across the board.  This Obama is going to put us all out of work.”

“OK…ah thanks Joe.  I guess the winner is Vito!  Vito with immunity you cannot lose the next test, which makes you the winner and this year’s “Top Plummer!”

Who would not tune in for this kind of drama?

OK, it’s a bad post but just see how many Google hits I get on Rich Trethewey!