HEADLINES 10-23-11

HEADLINES 10-23-11

t’s Sunday, time for a day of rest and time for Cranky’s headlines from last week and my sophomoric stupid comments:

UK taxi driver becomes first mummy for 3,000 years – After 3000 years there will be a new First Mummy election.

Actress sues Amazon for revealing age on film database – Actress who first appeared in films in 1991 declared, “It’s the worst thing that has happened to me in all nineteen years of my life”

President Obama’s Teleprompters stolen – The President issued the following statement “Ah……where is……ah……”

Study Links Swearing on TV to Teen Aggression – This is just fucking bull shit, fucking assholes and their stupid fucking studies, what the fuck do they know? Shit! I’d like to kick their fucking asses for this dumb fucking worthless study!

Scrabble Championship Contestant Reportedly Demands Opponent Be Strip-Searched – Contestant apparently took his opponents off the cuff comment, “I pulled that word out of my ass” literally.

First SORA Plus students graduate from Middlesex County College- A+ is hard, SORA+ is almost impossible!

Carteret man arrested for defecating in vehicles – Man is unrepentant, claiming “I don’t give a shit!”

Unsafe Needles Pose Major Health Risk to Doctors, Nurses – Not so great for the patients either.

Australia to intervene on 109-year-old war crimes – If not too little, it’s definitely too late!

Obama administration pulls references to Islam from terror training materials, official says – Replaces them with instructions for sticking your head in the sand.