MAYBE IT’s JUST ME!

MAYBE IT’s JUST ME!

I started this blog six months ago with the hope of attracting readers (buyers) to my self-published book “Maybe It’s Just Me! – The random thoughts opinions and reminiscences of a cranky old man.”  (Which I wish I had named …..Opinions and stories of a …. As every time I spell “reminiscences” I am so far off that spell check shows a picture of Bill Gates looking puzzled.)  Any way, in six months my blog has managed to attract one buyer of my book; thank you Lou from the UK.

http://waitingtoemigrate.blogspot.com/2011/07/maybe-its-just-him.html

I have decided to push my book even more shamelessly thru this blog.  Is that so bad?  Movie stars do it all the time on the tonight show and other venues so why not me?

“Ok ok, he he he, our next guest, is an author who wants to shamelessly promote his book, you don’t know him so you can’t love him…..The Cranky Old Man!”

“Thank you, Jay”

“Tell me Cranky, may I call you Cranky?”

“Absolutely Jay”

“Why he he he are you so cranky?”

“Well Jay, after 40 years working on Wall Street, kissing ass, and doing whatever I was told to do, I was suddenly fired.  It turns out that some really really smart people in my firm made millions of dollars for themselves trading really complicated stuff called derivatives that threatened to put my company out of business and put the entire world into a severe recession/depression, so I needed to be laid off.  When I came home after being fired I found out my wife was sleeping with an oral surgeon and was leaving me.  As a reward for sleeping with another man, she got my house and one half of everything I had saved for forty years, and was going to get full custody of my ten year old son and ultimately leave the state where I would almost never see him.  Oh yes I am a bit fucking cranky.”

“Ah… you can’t say fuck on TV.”

“Who says so?  The same freaking political retards that looked the other way while the derivative traders were fucking the whole country?”

“Ah… you can’t say retards on TV.”

“Sorry Jay.  It’s nice to know that we are being protected from politically incorrect speech while a bunch of super smart shitheads are putting ten percent of the world out of work!”

“Ah… you can’t say shitheads.”

“Sorry Jay, I meant to say poopoo heads.”

“That is much better.  Now what is this book that you are here to shamelessly promote all about?”

“Jay, it’s called Maybe It’s Just Me, the random thoughts, opinions and reminiscences of a cranky old man.  Basically it is a bunch of stories, opinions and thoughts I wrote as they came to me.”

“So random stuff?”

“Yes Jay, random stuff.”

“Is this random stuff entertaining?”

“No Jay, it all sucks...Yes it’s entertaining!   My opinions are mostly bullshit doody but they will make you think, and the stories and thoughts are very funny, or so I’ve been told by the eleven people that have read the book.”

“Thank you Cranky, that’s about all the time we have tonight.  Once again the book is Maybe It’s Just Me?”

“That’s right Jay and you can find and order it at “rosedogbooks.com” or “Amazon.com”; no bathroom should be without this book!”

“Thank you Cranky.  Good night everybody he he he!”

Come on, buy the fucking book.  Fifteen dollars!  Big deal!  Is it too expensive for a stupid book?  Of course it is, but you spend that much on a manicure-pedicure, or a shot and a beer.  Let your nails go for a week or skip an alcohol sedative and take a chance on a funny book!