TOURETTE’S

TOURETTE’S

Around the time I was five years old, I started this neck twitchy thing.  I had to HAD TO tighten my neck muscles till my head shook like a vibrator was attached.  In addition, I had to HAD TO make a huffing noise in my throat.  My brothers and even my father when they saw this would tell me “STOP THAT!”

It was embarrassing to say the least.  For some reason I did not always have to do these things, I think it was usually when I was home and my brain was half turned off watching TV.

As I grew older the need NEED to twitch diminished and I was able to disguise and or delay the twitch so that people did not notice.  Well I didn’t think they noticed.  It turns out most people are polite enough to not ask you, “Why the fuck are you twitching?”

Years later I learned of this thing called Tourette’s.  Unfortunately all you heard of this syndrome was the very rare symptom of a person’s uncontrollable need to curse out loud.  This stereotype made admitting to having Tourette’s difficult.  FUCK.  It was, however, comforting to realize that the uncontrollable need to twitch had a name.  It was a syndrome suffered by many.  It was not Joe Hagy being a fucked up dude!  Well not because of the twitchy thing anyway.

Today, the stigma of Tourette’s is changing.  People realize it is not just the uncontrollable SHIT PISS cursing stuff.  Much of the credit for this change in how people look at Tourette’s goes to Tim Howard, the American World Cup soccer goalie.  Years ago, Tim went on “60 Minutes” and spoke candidly about this affliction which apparently we share.

Thank you Little Timmy Howard!  I call him Little Timmy because years ago in North Brunswick, New Jersey, Tim’s older brother played Little League Baseball with my son, Matt.  From time to time Little Timmy would hang with me at games and I would buy him a hot dog or ice cream.  He was about ten, and a really great kid.  I never would have guessed he had Tourette’s.  At ten he was adept at hiding it. 

Thanks to Little Timmy, I can discuss this strange twitchy affliction.  I even use it as an excuse.  If I forget to do something, or do anything weird, I just say, “It’s the Tourette’s.” 

At last something positive out of this twitchy condition.  I have an excuse for almost anything.  I get to join that growing herd of American’s that are not responsible for doing dumb shit because they (we) are victims! SHIT PISS FUCK.

Well I try to use the victim defense.  Mrs. Cranky doesn’t buy it.

SHIT.