Stupid Headlines 011517
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Nude woman steals sheriff's car, claims she was poisoned – Some people die when poisoned, some take off their clothes and steal a cop car.
Two employees are suing Microsoft, alleging their jobs gave them PTSD – Can you not quit a job with Microsoft?
Johnny Manziel's Next Move: Charging Fans For Selfies – A professional has been before he ever was…sad.
Monopoly might ditch classic game pieces for emojis – Oh the humanity! They took away my iron, don’t take my thimble!
Man recently named 'Principal of the Year' charged with statutory rape – They are renaming the award to: “Pretty good Principal of the year…except for that sex thing.”
Cops cuff volunteers for feeding the homeless in Florida – Pigeons yes, homeless no.
Teen accused of being fake doctor indicted in Virginia – Am I the only one who misread this?
Obama's dog Sunny reportedly bites White House guest – Guests to the White House should probably wait another week before wearing a “Make America Great Again” hat.
Madoff reportedly cornered the hot chocolate market in prison – Very impressive Bernie, you’re a genius…also a dick/asshole/crap-head/putz. Enjoy your business acumen ripping off fellow miscreants…it would be too bad if you pissed them off.
AND THE FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK
Faithful Dog Saves Injured Owner From Freezing Temperatures – A cat would have just moved on.
Come Back Next Week For More