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Saturday, January 7, 2017

Stupid Headlines 010817

Stupid Headlines 010817
It’s time again for
No way, at least his first name isn't Fred
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
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Teen surfer bitten by shark while wearing device said to reduce risk of attack – It turns out a mackerel neckless is not a very good deterrent.
New subway line, awaited since the 1920s, opens in New York – And some people claim New Yorkers are impatient!
Waffle House waitress loses job after firing gun during robbery – If a waitress robbed me, I would want her fired if she shot a gun or not!
At least 3 injured after owner tries to put sweater on pit bull – You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind, you don’t put a sweater on an old bull dog and you don’t mess around with Jim.
Mark Zuckerberg reveals he's no longer an atheist – Facebook CEO believes in God, he also believes that God is him.
Charles Manson reportedly seriously ill, taken to hospital – He’s 82, how does Carrie Fischer, George Michaels, David Bowie, or Prince die before this old murderous prick?
Dylann Roof cold to victims, but apologized to his parents – The only apology I can think of is “Sorry you were ever born!”
Theology Students Given Trigger Warning Before Studying Christ’s Crucifixion – Spoiler alert, he rises that Sunday!
California bans killer whale theatrical shows, breeding – I get the show cancellations, but I think the whales may have something to say about the breeding ban.
Petition seeks to keep Stallions nickname of new Kentucky high school – Clearly sexist, what were they thinking?  New name will be “The Terrific non-genderiffic.”
Florida Marathon Runner Gets Lost, Goes Missing for 12 Hours – Shouldn’t you at least follow the runners ahead of you and if you can’t see them maybe you should try another sport.
THE FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK:
Teen carries brother with cerebral palsy on back for 111-mile walk – Does anyone else have a 1969 song by the Hollys stuck in their head?



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Come Back Next Week For More
STUPID HEADLINES!!

13 comments:

  1. I love the LeRoy Brown reference with the dog sweater incident. :) - Yes. Why is that POS Manson still alive and we lost so many good ones... I'm happy to hear that Zuckerberg is no longer an athiest. Maybe the birth of his daughter woke him up. :)

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  2. Thx, but you have the titles confused

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4qUXcXuMSE

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    Replies
    1. You're right and when I was typing it I was singing the song and I knew I had it wrong! Hahaha

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  3. How did Manson get sick? He's not allowed to have sick visitors, is he? Nice safe surroundings, comfortable - you'd think he would live to 100 or more.

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  4. I always look forward to your stupid headlines. Some of them are more than stupid.

    I linked you to Silly Sunday.

    And the load
    Doesn't weigh me down at all
    He ain't heavy he's my brother
    He's my brother
    He ain't heavy, he's my brother
    He ain't heavy, he's my brother


    Have a fabulous day Joe. ☺

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  5. Your head line almost gave me a heart attack. I hope that no piglets died.
    Happy New Year to you and Mrs. "C" and the whole family.

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  6. "At least 3 injured after owner tries to put sweater on pit bull"

    If they tried to put one of those ugly Christmas sweaters on me, I'd injure 3 people, too! Good dog! ;)

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  7. I wouldn't mind living in a world without Charles Manson.

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  8. Just as I expected--GREAT post!!

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  9. I have always thought it silly pets being dressed up like people. I guess that pit bull had even stronger feelings.

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  10. I had no idea the Hollies sang that...I always thought it was only Neil Diamond.

    LOL at the marathon runner. Wonder if he ran two marathons.

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  11. If theology students need a trigger warning, maybe they are in the wrong classes.

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  12. Maybe the dog wanted to wear a mackerel necklace, and be called a Stallion, and that sweater triggered him.

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