Stupid Headlines 010817
It’s time again for
|No way, at least his first name isn't Fred|
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
Teen surfer bitten by shark while wearing device said to reduce risk of attack – It turns out a mackerel neckless is not a very good deterrent.
New subway line, awaited since the 1920s, opens in New York – And some people claim New Yorkers are impatient!
Waffle House waitress loses job after firing gun during robbery – If a waitress robbed me, I would want her fired if she shot a gun or not!
At least 3 injured after owner tries to put sweater on pit bull – You don’t tug on Superman’s cape, you don’t spit into the wind, you don’t put a sweater on an old bull dog and you don’t mess around with Jim.
Mark Zuckerberg reveals he's no longer an atheist – Facebook CEO believes in God, he also believes that God is him.
Charles Manson reportedly seriously ill, taken to hospital – He’s 82, how does Carrie Fischer, George Michaels, David Bowie, or Prince die before this old murderous prick?
Dylann Roof cold to victims, but apologized to his parents – The only apology I can think of is “Sorry you were ever born!”
California bans killer whale theatrical shows, breeding – I get the show cancellations, but I think the whales may have something to say about the breeding ban.
Petition seeks to keep Stallions nickname of new Kentucky high school – Clearly sexist, what were they thinking? New name will be “The Terrific non-genderiffic.”
Florida Marathon Runner Gets Lost, Goes Missing for 12 Hours – Shouldn’t you at least follow the runners ahead of you and if you can’t see them maybe you should try another sport.
THE FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE WEEK:
Teen carries brother with cerebral palsy on back for 111-mile walk – Does anyone else have a 1969 song by the Hollys stuck in their head?
Come Back Next Week For More