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Thursday, January 9, 2020

Back to Normal


Back to Normal




The college senior left for school today.  He was visiting for two weeks.  When the 22-year-old visits, we really don’t see him that much.  He has friends from another town over, where he used to live before he was taken away to the land where “Ah’s” replace “R’s”.  (Pahk the cah)

He generally left for his friends every evening and returned at around 1:45 AM where he activated the “Ring” door camera and woke me up just after I had finally fallen asleep.

He arose each day at the crack of dusk.  How a boy could sleep for 14 hours I have no idea…well I do remember late nights at the fraternity house and sleeping in the next day missing dinner.  But still!

I whipped up breakfast for him every day; bacon, eggs, English muffins and a chocolate milk-shake.  He gained zero pounds.  I gained four pounds by just finishing the last two gulps of milk-shake left in the mixer.

We went out to dinner a few times.  He even paid once, and I BBQ’d the rest of the time.  Oh yes, he was ready for dinner three hours after breakfast. 

We did not see the boy a lot, but we knew he was here by the shoes that were always left in the middle of whatever floor he took them off on.  We also could tell because his shower ran for about 30 minutes every day, right before he left the house. 

I knew when he had a late night (early morning) snack by the dishes piled up one foot from the dishwasher.

Where ever I go in the house I find empty water and Gator Aide bottles.   It could be empty beer and vodka bottles so I don’t complain.

Still, for 22, he is a good lad.  He does not smoke…tobacco.  He seldom has more than a beer or two at home.  The Ring camera captures his coming home late at night.  He is not staggering and he gets the key on his first try, so I know he is not misbehaving too badly.

He is back in school hopefully to graduate in May.  It is nice not having to adjust the seat in my car and to know where the keys are at all times.  It will be nice to sleep at night without worrying so much.  It will be nice not hearing RAP music at high volume in the car or coming from his 30-minute showers.  It will be nice having back the privacy Mrs. C and I enjoy.

When children turn 22, they are different human beings to their parents, and parents become less important to children.  They need to be on their own.  Parents need for them to be on their own.

Things are back to normal now.  It is a nice thing.

Still, a little of your heart goes missing when a child leaves home.

15 comments:

  1. It sure does! I miss my son, but when I really think about it, it's the sweet little boy I miss who drank tons of milk and rode his Razor scooter.

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  2. Yep; that is true with your last line. And I really don't know how they manage to sleep 14 hours a day. But he is probably catching up on sleep from the semester of school and preparing for the next semester by getting a sleep bank. Got to love them! Seems like a good kid your college senior is!

    betty

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  3. It's nice when they visit and even better when they leave. There is a time they need to fly solo and we need our quiet and our privacy.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  4. Pahk the cah is the way upper class posh people over here talk.

    God bless.

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  5. This is the most poetic and beautiful post you have written. Just lovely.

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  6. I agree with Tabor. You really captured the pain and joy of having adult children.

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  7. Cousin Joe... Your mom and dad would have enjoyed this post..a probably commented "like father, like son."

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  8. It is nice when former residents come home to visit, it is usually nicer when those visitors leave again. Love them while they are there, but we have gotten used to a lifestyle without them underfoot daily at this point in our lives. The changes in routine make it stressful and the ability to breath freely when they leave is relaxing. I have a rule when I visit 3 days and make myself scarce again - which works for me and my hosts. :-)

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  9. Yes, it's so sad to see them go, but nice to return to your routine.

    At least his sleep schedule left you with hot water for your own showers. My soon-to-be 22-year-old only left one time while he was home for two weeks. He doesn't have at-home friends, and his college friends scattered across the country. He's lucky he didn't starve to death, because I've grown accustomed to only making supper now.

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  10. Vastly different to my life when I was 22. (Married with a toddler and a baby.)
    he sounds like a sensible lad though, not "falling down drunk" after a night out, eats a decent breakfast.
    I live in a whole land of "ah's", barely an "R" to be heard unless it is at the beginning of a word. or in a word such as "dresses".

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  11. Oh I remember it well and sometimes wish those times were back again.

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  12. I wonder if our kids think the same of us. :) Your last line is so very, very true... <3 Wonderful post, Joe. Right to the heart.

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  13. i can't say that i feel better when my 26 year old leaves house dear Joe

    i want my kids around ,i want my eldest son to work near and come home after office but this is me that i want and life and circumstances don't care what i want or feel
    i want them to be happy and this desire is strongest and surpasses all my other "wants" so when he leaves i am happy to realize that he is happier than he was her :)
    i hope you your precious kid will be visiting you regularly congratulations to him and best wishes for future !

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