It’s Only Money
As children
we thought some of their mentality was ridiculous. Saving aluminum foil, rubber-bands and other
common items seemed silly.
“You
never know when we may need them.” Was the common
refrain.
Our
sandwiches in those days were hardly sandwiches at all. Our moms somehow were able to take a single
slab of precut bologna and slice it even thinner. Slap that on white bread with a tiny bit of
mayo and you had a sandwich.
I was ruined
from mom’s sandwiches after my first time at a deli. Roast beef two inches thick…Holy Moly!
Anyone
remember this, “Close the door, you’re letting out the heat!”
How about, “Turn
off the light, what do you think, I’m Con Edison?”
For dinner,
Mom could make a package of veggies for two stretch for a family of five. Leftovers from a turkey dinner would last for
a week, followed by several turkey sliver sandwiches, and the turkey soup would
last until the next Holiday turkey.
When I left
the house and was on my own, I made my own sandwiches and I piled on the
bologna. When I use aluminum foil, I
toss it. I leave lights on all the time
without even thinking about it and I don’t worry about losing a little heat
from open doors in the Winter.
And yet I
find, some of that depression mindset has not completely left me.
I see young
couples today that make a fine living.
They make a lot of money. They
spend a lot of money. What they spend a
lot of money on drives me nuts…well not really, it is their money after all.
Their
purchases are generally because they “Have to have.” They have to have the best
everything. The best cell phone,
the best TV, the best apartment.
If they rent a car, they rent the expensive fancy convertible because
they can.
For some
reason debt does not bother the current generation.
I do not
sleep well with debt. I do not enjoy an
expensive vacation if I have to sleep at night during that vacation fretting
over the debt the vacation caused me.
I like to
save money for things I’d “Like to have” not things I “Have to have”.
I don’t get the buy it now and pay over
time mind set.
Weddings
today are crazy.
When folks
got married years ago, they invited a few friends and family. There would be a nice church ceremony and
drinks, finger sandwiches, some music and dancing back at the house.
When my
generation married the after-church celebration was kicked up a notch, party at
the VFW, a local band, some flowers and a photographer.
These days,
the church is often left out, the party is at a large very expensive “Wedding
Factory.” The venue charges for 150
guests if you invite them or not. There
are flowers all over. The music is a DJ
who is not cheap. There are several
photographers and a videographer. There
is a cocktail party before dinner and dancing, the couple has a “Signature
Drink” (I KNOW!) there is a dessert bar, a pasta bar, a photo booth for guests
to take making fish-lips, tongue sticking out, rabbit ear pictures, because the
cameras on every guest’s cell phone are not enough.
The wedding
proposal is often videoed, invitations follow a “Save the Date card”, The
expense is ridiculous, but couples “Have to have it.”
Don’t even
get me started on the Bridal Shower, it is a whole nother extravaganza. Bachelor and Bachelorette parties are in
expensive clubs, often an out of state flight away. But you “Have to have
it.”
Hell, I’ve
had three weddings and still have not had a bachelor party!
The cost of
my THREE weddings would not cover one third of the weddings of today…and we had
a really good time at those weddings (afterwards not so much, but still.)
It’s not my
problem, so I just shake my head, much like my mom must have done when she saw
me toss out perfectly good aluminum foil.
I’m sure the
money is well spent. Nothing like a
great party to get a start on a relationship.
Personally, I’d rather have the down payment on a house, but that’s just
me.
Then I was also
taught to turn out the light when you leave a room.
When hubby played in bands years ago (early 1980s) they played a lot of weddings. Lots of fancy ones, some simple ones. They used to make bets if the marriage would outlast the cost of the wedding. I'm sad to say some didn't. Its ridiculous what people spend these days and they think more of the wedding than the actual marriage "to death do us part" deal. Then there are those destination weddings Don't even get me started on that.
ReplyDeleteIt is true; it is their money and they do have a carefree attitude about it in general. Lets just hope they know how to handle it when things start falling apart because most of the time it does if you don't save for a rainy day.
betty
My own wedding was very low key in the morning with just champagne punch and hors d'ouevres afterwards because that's all we could afford. No big wedding party, flowers or music. I'm still sorry we did not have a professional photographer. I'm happy to pay for nicer weddings for my own kids because we can afford it now. It's a celebration for us as much as for our kids.
ReplyDeleteprayers. My brother and sister had huge weddings (many years ago so not so huge today) and ended in divorce. Second marriages for them were with about six people. My first (and only) wedding was at our house. I baked my own cake and made the punch for ten people. It's worked for almost 34 years. Just sayin'.
ReplyDeleteWeddings do amaze me. The money spent could easily put a down payment on a really nice house. Some of them could even buy that house. Don't get it so maybe I am also hard wired by my parents frugality.
ReplyDeleteAh Joe... bless your heart! My cousin's daughter got married a year or so ago--and for 6 months before the wedding, they had a WEBSITE devoted to the upcoming big event. I'm not talking anything amateur like a personal blog, it was a professional website with links to the bachelor & bachelorette parties, the "Bride's Journal", a gift-page (that scrolled on forever) showing what gifts hadn't been purchased yet, complete with an "Instant Purchase" button (sponsored by Amazon), backstories on everyone from the in-laws to the wedding dress designer, a "Help us pick our honeymoon destination" contest--all with a flashing blue "Donate to our wedding or one of these causes" button on the side. It was the most self-indulgent pile of nonsense I'd ever seen!
ReplyDeleteI don't get the wedding extravagance either. I'd much rather use that money towards a house. I will re-use foil on a pan for warming things in the oven. I use a plastic straw more than once, rinsing it out. I'm not crazy thrifty. I'll spend $1.69 a day on a 44 oz Diet Coke. I pay the full balance on our one credit card every month. I figure I'm doing okay. We come out Even Steven. Thanks to conscientious saving during our working years, we have a nice cushion for emergencies, or things we'd LIKE to have.
ReplyDelete(*~*)I have the cushion cover, still working on the actual cushion.
DeleteI so agree with you. When my oldest son asked his first wife if she would rather go on a honeymoon or have a big wedding, she chose the wedding. It wasn't as crazy as the one you described, but sadly that marriage (which I thought was a bit doomed from the get go) ended after 5 years.
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband and I were married, we had just moved, had no jobs, and were living temporarily with my to-be father-in-law. Needless to say, it was just a church wedding and dinner out after (since we didn't know anyone yet, there were a total of 6 of us). But we celebrated our 40th anniversary last month! Love & commitment to each other far surpasses what you're willing to spend on a wedding.
I remember the offer when I was young. Your dad would offer you so much money for the wedding. You could use it entirely for the wedding or cut back and have a nice down payment on a house.
ReplyDeleteMy reservation about the big weddings is it does not prepare a young couple for life. But as an older person, I now jump at anything fun and try to budget it in. I figure, my days of partying it up are almost over and I should try to enjoy myself. But I have the money now because of what I did not spend many many moons ago.
You noted that you had a really good time at your three weddings, but not so much after, but i think you meant you didn't have such a great time after the first two weddings. The third one seems to be sticking well, so i know it's the exception!
ReplyDeleteMy folks threw us a lovely wedding. That's because Mom and Dad eloped (my Dad wasn't Greek and I think there was a bounty on his head!) so Mom swore if she had girls they would have a nice wedding. But Jack and I didn't live together, own a home together, or have a pot to pee in together before we married. Now a days I'm not sure why there's a shower because many times couples already have everything, including kids! I'm with you on this one. I heard the new thing is to give the couple money to pay for the wedding or to put into a honeymoon fund. Crazy
ReplyDeleteRoast Beef two inches thick? holy moly indeed! I thought I piled on the meat, but still my roast beef layer is only half to three quarters of an inch. I remember childhood sandwiches that were usually a thin smear of jam or peanut butter leading up to paydays, then for a couple of days there would be cheese sliced off the wedge bought on payday evenings at the local shop, very occasionally some thinly sliced ham, then it was back to the jam again.
ReplyDeleteI think you should STOP leaving lights on all over the place, like your mother taught you.
I didn't have much money when I was young. I remember once in London I was mugged by a young lad who did not have much money either. He could only afford a plastic knife to mug me with. He said "Your money or your life!" It took me ages to decide because I did not have my wife with me to make the bargain with.
ReplyDeleteHe repeated, "Your money or your life!" I gave him the only 10pence coin I had on me.
When I told the police, they asked me for a description. I said, "It was a 10 pence coin dated 2001".
They said they wanted a description of the man, not the coin.
I told them I wanted my coin back, not the mugger.
I never got my money back.
God bless.
wise sharing dear Joe !
ReplyDeletei would call our parents foresighted not depressed ,my mom was wise one so she kept tiny or big old stuff for rainy days which hardly ended anyway
yes i wondered then why she was so afraid of being in need of such things ,i think i was not her so i could not answer well
stuff which we need for healthy life and stuff that we load into our houses just because we think "we should have" are totally two different thing which we have manipulated badly and this materialism is the only reason that depression is everywhere now days