GOTCHA!
This
afternoon, I awoke from a short nap in my recliner in my basement man
cave. On the floor to my left was a
hideous many legged creepy crawly creature.
I used to see these centipedes often, but I put down sticky traps a few
years ago, and those many legs do not make it through those traps.
I change the
traps from time to time, but they do not catch many of these critters anymore
because they seem to be about eradicated.
Now I was
staring directly at one of these critters that make my hair stand on end. I don’t mind spiders that much…oh I kill
them, but they don’t freak me out. I don’t
mind ants, and outside poison seem to have eliminated that problem. Flies and mosquitoes are pesky, but they do
not cause me to jump on a chair and scream like a girl.
Centipedes
freak me out.
I’ve read
that they eat other bugs and that they should just be left alone. They do not hurt and they get rid of other
insect intruders.
Bull Shit! In my house they die!
If they
escape the traps, they are not easy to kill.
They are fast and shifty and head for cracks and unreachable places
where they wait for me to drop my guard and then scurry across the floor to
freak me out again.
When I see
one, it must be destroyed.
Now fresh
from my nap I was faced with one of these insect monsters. It was motionless. It had spotted me and was waiting for me to
make a move.
Make a move
I did.
I have an
electric fly swatter. Along with flies, this thing will
also incinerate the dreaded centipedes. And with its large circumference it is
pretty easy to slam on the bug before it can take off and escape.
I grabbed my
swatter which I always keep by my chair at the ready, slowly crept up upon the
creeper and slammed the swatter fully activated on him (or her, how do you
know?).
I was expecting
that satisfying crackle and sizzle of a bug quickly disposed of, but…nothing.
WTF! No sizzle, and the critter never flinched.
I looked
closer, ready to slam it again when I realized this was a Grandchild left over piece of a Lego space ship that would never scare me again.
Did I feel
silly? Hell no, I tossed that Lego piece in the trash where it would never
scare me again.
If any centipedes
were watching I am sure they got the message.
Those are the only insects that totally freak me out, too. Hate them. I see one, I become a little child.
ReplyDeleteYeah, Sully, I don’t like those Legos either.
ReplyDeleteI hate those things! Thankfully, I've never found one in the house. I get the millipedes! They're so chunky that I'm not sure a zapper would incinerate them. If I thought it would, I'd get a zapper, and wear it slung across my back, to be always prepared in my travels through the basement.
ReplyDeleteI haven't seen a centipede in years, or yonks as we Aussies like to say. I do have my own intruders here though. Cockroaches, the small brown ones mostly, slaters, tiny millipedes that roll themselves into a ball when you touch them and earwigs, all of which I smack with my bug smacker, a single thong (flip-flop) left over when its partner broke its toe divider piece. Then we have the occasional blowfly which I rarely see, moths and mosquitoes and daddy-long-legs spiders. Those last are absolutely everywhere in these flats.
ReplyDeleteI am so with you. Nothing freaks me out like centipedes. I'm so creeped out that I can't bear to even pick up a dead one with a tissue. I usually blast them with Lysol spray, then vacuum up.
ReplyDeleteThat was funny. You really taught that Lego a lesson. Don't know how I have made it this long but I have never seen a centipede. I hope to keep my record intact. I am unnerved by 8 legged creatures. One hundred would really do me in. I'll keep my zapper with fresh batteries just in case.
ReplyDeleteBwahahahahahahahahaha. You killed a Lego. That's rich. I spewed my coffee all over my monitor.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. 😎
They live in the drains, they are harmless. Wish people would get over that.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Maybe time for a new pair of glasses (or glasses to begin with?) I'll have to remember the electric fly swatter; irritating when one comes into the house and then impossible to remove it.
ReplyDeletebetty
Did you know that if a centipede is attacked it detaches some of its legs and throws them at his attacker? That way the attacker stops to eat the leg and the centipede runs away and hides. Unfortunately, the centipede is often killed when he returns to retrieve his shoes.
ReplyDeleteAlso, did you know that the Lego brick was invented as an instrument of torture during the Spanish Inquisition? Try standing on one in bare feet.
Also, did you know that you should never have an electric fly swatter in the bathroom in case you sit on it as you leave the shower. I tried it!!!
God bless.
Now that's funny! I'm raging war on stink bugs right now. Do you have those little buggers in Jersey? I don't know why they call them that, they don't even stink.
ReplyDeleteDie, Lego fake!
ReplyDeleteoh that is relief ,well almost that it was not centipede dear Joe :)
ReplyDeleteback in my village home i think i was in grade eight when i was bitten by this this ,i did not know how it climbed in my dress i just felt truly terrible feeling as someone made cut through my back
long story short mom had to pull it out by cutting his legs by blade that were inside my back
i felt the piercing pain like needle poked for years on infected place