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Saturday, March 16, 2019

Stupid Headlines 031719

Stupid Headlines 031719

This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.


This post often makes fun of the plethora of stories out of Florida.  Courtesy of Olga @  is an explanation.  Funny stuff…actually more than funny, had me in tears:


Unlicensed Gun Owner Manages To Shoot Himself In The Dong – You need a license to shoot yourself in the dong? 

Woman suffers severe allergic reaction to partner's medication after oral sex – How was this partner taking the medication? No wait…I don’t want to know!

Tinder date allegedly sends woman list of improvements after first date: ‘Just so I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you’ - Just a little 
creepy! I'd check this guy's yard for a wood chipper.

Toys R Us' real estate arm exits bankruptcy with new name – The new name, “We B Toys” should turn things around.

New York man bites off bouncer's finger after learning bar was closing – He couldn’t get a drinky, so he settled for a pinky.

Woolly mammoth cells brought back to life in shocking scientific achievement – When they open up the park, I’m staying home…I saw the movie!

4 Canadian wolves air-dropped in US national park to deal with moose – There must be a better way to control the moose population then to drop wolves on them.

Dominatrix moving from NYC townhouse over complaints of lifestyle and business – Reporters were unable to interview neighbors about this case as they were under a gag order.

Browns fan celebrates so hard that a woman calls 911 – Any fan celebrating in Cleveland is suspicious.

Florida Officer Puts Woman Who Called Police In Headlock – Well, if I ever want to be put in a headlock, I know who to call.

Constitution protects giving the finger to police officers – You also have the right to stick your hand in a meat grinder, does not make it a very good idea!


6-year-old blind piano prodigy goes viral for "Bohemian Rhapsody"- This one makes me feel good and also makes me feel like quitting guitar…nah.


  1. Ha ha on the Florida man. They do entertain. As a Floridian, I think the pirate summed it up. There are no Florida men as they all come from either NY, NJ, Ohio, Ill or Indiana. We natives usually live somewhere other than Florida.

  2. I had to go look up this date thing. Okay, I'll copy some down and let others weigh in.

    When we had food I know you got a salad but having full fat coke is more calories you really don't need.

    You need to keep your past to a minimum. I don't care about it and what you went through.

    Get a sense of humor, you didn't laugh at a single one of my jokes.

    You just seemed a bit stuck up. Sort your personality out.

    You made me feel like shit when you offered to pay. It's like you thought I didn't have enough money after telling you how much is in my account.

    You didn't compliment me once.

    If you take these on board I might consider another date. I will give you a month and get back in touch to see if this made a difference.

    It's not me, Luke James, it's you. What a loser.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. 😎

  3. Are we supposed to infer that if the gun owner had just been licensed, he WOULDN"T have shot himself in the dong? (is 'dong' a medical term?)

  4. You gave my 13-year-old self plenty to titter about this week! I especially liked your sophomoric comment on the evicted dominatrix.

  5. As usual, you keep me in stitches!

  6. Again, I promise - I filter my water here in Florida. I don't drink the stuff they drink.