More Games At Cranky’s
House
To whom it
may concern. If it ever seems as thought
I am losing my mind, first check Mrs. Cranky, I believe she is intentionally
trying to make me think my brain has gone from a steel-trap to mush.
What am I
talking about?
She recently
bought a package of coconut macaroon cookies.
She knows macaroon cookies are my favorite, yet she complained that I
was eating them too fast.
“Stop eating those cookies, they need
to last.”
“Last till when, and why. You don’t eat them, what is the difference
how fast I eat them. If I eat them too
fast, don’t buy so many, or don’t buy them at all. Would you buy booze for an alcoholic and then
tell him not to drink so fast?”
“You need to learn portion control.”
The next day
I go looking for the box of cookies and it was gone.
“WHERE ARE THE COOKIES?”
“What cookies?”
“You bitch, you hid them, didn’t
you?”
“Maybe.”
“Only you would buy me something I
love and then hide them so I only eat them on your schedule!”
Oh, I found
them. It took about 20 minutes, but I
found them hidden under a towel in the dinning room, not in the kitchen where
they were.
Next day I
make a sandwich.
“Did you use the unseeded rye?”
“I guess.”
“Use the seeded rye, I buy it for
you, I like the unseeded.”
“I like both.”
“You wanted the seeded, leave the unseeded
alone.”
“I just grabbed the first package of
rye bread in the fridge, the seeded is way in the back.”
“Next time use the seeded!”
Today I went
to make a sandwich. I grabbed the rye
package in the back of the fridge. It
was unseeded rye. I asked myself “What the HELL!” Both the packages are
unseeded. I made my sandwich with unseeded bread.
Mrs. C came
home from work and after she was fumbling around in the kitchen yelled upstairs
to me,
“I can’t believe you used the
unseeded rye again!”
“That’s all there is, both packages
are unseeded. I grabbed the package in
the back of the fridge and it is unseeded too, so I used it.”
“I moved the seeded to the front so
you would use it, not the unseeded!”
“You're trying to make me think I’m
losing my mind aren’t you.”
“NO... maybe.”
“Sure, and I’m the jerk?”
“How about you just read the labels,
they say seeded, or unseeded?”
“How about you stop hiding and
switching stuff?”
“You are a jerk!”
Why am I
always wrong?
Surely Mrs. C will soon realize that you are catching onto this "under a towel" thing! As far as using the back-bread, I KNEW you would do that! And I KNEW that Mrs. C would have switched them. Because that's what I would do. Just read the label, don't try to outsmart her. It won't work.
ReplyDeleteI might be able to take your side on the cookies, though. Since Mrs. C doesn't like them, it shouldn't matter how fast you eat them. When they're gone, they're gone, and she can buy you more when and/or IF she feels like it.
You are always wrong because you're the man? We wouldn't have the problem with the rye because hubby doesn't like it in any form. Nor with the cookies because we rarely buy them, yet alone macaroon ones.
ReplyDeletebetty
Or you could take over the shopping.... just a thought!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Val. The cookie thing makes no sense, but if she buys a separate bread for you, I can see how she doesn't want you to eat hers and I would have done the switcheroo to prevent it too.
ReplyDeleteShe does seem to take pleasure in trying to control you and you seem to take equal pleasure in defying her. You are an equal match for sure and your tug-a-wars make for a fun post.
ReplyDelete.... because you are, that makes you wrong.
ReplyDeleteTime for you to scope out the local grocery. I buy my own foraging entities for that very reason and keep 'em in my office or down in the shop 'cause even if you buy your own you'll be facing the inquisition over it. Mark my words ...... it's how the women folk pack in twice as many spoken words a day!!
I think you need to shop for yourself and then hide the stuff so you can have what you want when you want it. You won't have to have these conversations anymore. Not a dull moment at your house.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. 😎
I'd eat all the cookies too. But them I'm a "Three licks to the center of the Tootsie Roll Pop" kinda guy.
ReplyDeleteI need to explain that to you??????
ReplyDeleteYou aren't, and i still say you need to buy your stuff and she buys her stuff and you both buy the meals cooked together and agree to leave each other's things alone. Put a padlock on yours to make sure.
ReplyDeleteBecause you're the man. Haven't you heard? Women have taken over.
ReplyDeleteJack and I go shopping together every Saturday. Sometimes I notice some weird things that weren't on the list come down the belt. Sometimes I don't notice weird items until I'm putting the groceries away. Last week it was fig newtons and hot tamale candies. Why he can't just grab peanut M&Ms like normal people is beyond me. (I love peanut M&Ms BTW)
ReplyDeleteI enjoy reading all your post really like it when Mrs. C pulls one on you.😀 She loves you and is having her fun. Before my husband passed away he would do or say things that made me look like I was losing it, but I still loved him.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Val, the cookies are yours, eat as many as you want. Once they're gone you just do without until the next shopping expedition. But when it comes to the two breads, read the labels and use the right one.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on the cookies.
ReplyDeleteOn the bread, you're both wrong. Bread does not belong in the fridge.