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Saturday, March 2, 2019



This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider sometimes sophomoric comments.


California man accused of DUI drove car with anti-DUI sign – He is practicing how to breach.

Florida man arrested for allegedly throwing cookie at girlfriend – Assault with a tasty weapon.

Alligator in Florida catches golf ball in mouth during tournament: 'It saved me from a hazard penalty' – Golfer got a free drop, but retrieving the ball was a little dicey.

Elderly man visits IHOP every day for 34 year - If this was my claim to fame, I would rather just remain a nobody.

Division II men’s basketball team forgot some luggage at home and had to wear opponent’s jerseys - With each team wearing the same jersey, this must have been a very low scoring game.

Martha Stewart partners with pot company to develop products – “Yo, like it’s a good thing…for real!”

Southwest Airlines sues mechanics – Yeah, that’s who I want to fly with, an airline that pisses off the people who maintain their engines.

South Dakota students hit the 'Beach' as university deems 'Hawaiian Day' a 'culturally insensitive' name – I’m upset at all the non-WASP people eating bland boiled food and showing no emotion…this is clearly appropriation of my proud WASP culture!!

Florida woman bitten by stray kitten billed by hospital for $48G: ‘My funeral would have been cheaper’ – Well her insurance covered all but $4000, so in effect, one way or the other, we all paid…egad!

Florida man who allegedly threatened family with Coldplay lyrics ends standoff after SWAT promises him pizza – I got nothing for this headline except “Damn I Love Florida!”

Woman complains to cops that she got brown sugar instead of cocaine – Surprisingly this was in the UK, not Florida.


With one arm, 8-year-old swats homer at Cardinals spring training – If you need your day brightened up…This kid is great!!


  1. That woman bitten by the cat needs to have her bill checked, and i wonder if the 'gator swallowed the ball.

  2. Are these headlines genuine?

    God bless.

  3. Florida took it home this week. I thought California was the loony bin. Well it is, but Florida is giving us a run for our money.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

    1. I love Florida, it is a great state, I think cold weather and low taxes drive a few loonies south. Still it is a great beautiful state.

  4. Yes, it might have been cheaper for the kitten-rescuer to forget about that kitten, and play golf with an alligator.

  5. Well Martha has been hanging out with Snoop Dog.

  6. Southwest airlines has had a bit of trouble in the last week...exploding engines and bad landings...that's usually our go-to fly machine but maybe I'll wait until the little dispute with the mechanics is over.

  7. Please know that we have a water filter and do *NOT* drink the same water that all those Florida headlines drink...