Stupid Headlines 092318
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
__________________________________
Kentucky woman 'defecated' on deputy
to resist arrest – “Pants
up, don’t poop!”
West Virginia man allegedly huffed
paint, beat mother with spatula – I suppose that is the weapon of choice if you flip out.
Maine restaurant to get lobsters high
off marijuana smoke before killing them – They get baked WITH
pot before they get baked IN the
pot!
Parking lesson ends with car in
swimming pool – That’s
not what they mean by car-pooling.
Dolphins players continue to kneel
during national anthem – Giants continue to lie down after kickoff!
Eagles wide receiver
Jordan Matthews says stint in Buffalo led to baby: 'There’s nothing to do
there' - So... if it was sightseeing at the Liberty Bell and a cheese-steak
sandwich the wife comes in second?
California teen claims celeb hit him
with his car: 'But it's ok because it was by Ashton Kutcher' – Dang celebrities get away with
everything!
Tourists Picking Up 26-Lb. Bricks of
Marijuana Washing Up on Florida Beaches – This may explain why Florida
supermarkets are running low on potato chips.
Raccoon breaks into Florida woman's
home – Probably
looking for one of those bricks.
Americans pay more for cannabis than
Canadians – Except,
of course, in Florida.
Delta passenger removed from plane
for head-butting flight attendant – Passenger asked police, “Is that wrong, to head butt a flight
attendant? If I had known it was wrong…”
FEEL-GOOD STORY OF THE
WEEK
Sofia Sanchez, girl surprised by
Drake at hospital, talks about recovery from heart transplant – Top RAP artist puts a wrap to the bad
rap that us old farts give to RAP.
My son
listens to his stuff all the time, in one piece he actually rhymes “Fussin”
with “Robitussin,” I make fun of him, but his music is very good…turns out he
is a good guy to boot!
I don't think I have ever heard a Drake song but I have to admire his character.
ReplyDeleteThese were all winners -- i was laughing so hard at your comments my Sweetie asked me what was so funny and made me read them aloud.
ReplyDeleteGreat job from Mr. Drake, and many prayers for Miss Sanchez.
Your sophomoric comments were outstanding! I also think it's frowned-upon to beat your mother with a spatula. So I guess moms and Delta Flight Attendants need to get their message out to a broader audience.
ReplyDeleteFish gotta swim. . .
ReplyDeleteI'm amazed by that Kentucky woman. I can't even poop if someone is in the stall next to me!
ReplyDeleteAnother winning headlines post!!
ReplyDelete