THE HUMIDIFIER
Our townhome
is heated by forced hot air. Forced hot
air is a very efficient system to install and works quite well except for one
flaw. Forced hot air sucks humidity from
the home. In order to keep a comfortable
environment with this system you either need a million house plants, or a
humidifier.
We have a
humidifier in our bedroom. I run it
every night. Without it my skin gets dry
and itchy and my nasal cavity gets so dry I becomes susceptible to germs and
colds.
The
humidifier seems very simple. Fill it
with water, turn it on.
Except it is
not simple.
I cannot
work this machine.
It is so NOT simple that I can’t even explain
what it is that I do wrong, but when I fill it up and then turn it on, it will
put out a mist for maybe three minutes and then just shut down.
Mrs. C knows
how to fill it and make it work, so it is her job. I do not touch the humidifier and all is well
in the Cranky Home.
This week
Mrs. C is away working at a Ballroom Dance Competition that the studio she
works for is hosting.
She did not
want me to touch the humidifier.
I complained
that I would dry like a prune without it.
She relented
and carefully demonstrated the process to me.
“Turn this knob to the arrow. Remove the mister. Do not let it touch anything and be
gentle. Then lift the water receptacle
out and be very careful not to drop or bump it into anything. Move it carefully to the bathroom to fill it
up. If the tiny fremenger gets jostled, the machine will shut down.”
“I’m pretty sure I can remove, fill
and replace the receptacle all by my big boy self!”
“Maybe!”
No, I don’t
know what the fremenger is or what it does or looks like.
Last night I
had to refill the humidifier. I
carefully removed the mister. I then
lifted the receptacle up. It did not
budge. I jiggled it. It did not budge. I yanked it and it did not budge.
“WTF!!”
I may have
been about to lose my temper when I noticed a piece of tape was holding the
receptacle to the machine. I ripped the
tape off and yanked the receptacle out with perhaps a bit too much effort as
perhaps I was a bit annoyed about the tape.
I dropped
the receptacle.
“CRAP!!”
I filled it
anyway and placed back on the machine, screwed in the mister and turned it
on.
It worked
just fine, for maybe three minutes, when a red light came on and the misting
stopped,
“CRAP!!”
I fiddled and
fuddled again and again with the same result.
“I hate this friggin machine!! Why do
I need an engineering degree to work a friggin humidifier?”
Besides my
eminent prunification, I dreaded having to tell Mrs. C that I couldn’t make the
damn thing work. On the other hand, I
wanted to cuss her out for taping the thing together, because of course this
issue was her fault
After about
my fifteenth try at getting this piece of crap to work I may have lost my
temper a bit and gave the dang thing a whack.
I heard a
“Whirr” and the mister did its thing.
Who said I
can’t fix stuff?
Later that
night when Mrs. C called to make sure I was surviving without her, I questioned
why the tape.
“That was to keep you from turning it
too high and to preserve water.”
“Oh, ok.”
I left it at
that and said nothing of my trials and tribulations caused by her tape.
I only would
have been called a jerk.
A piece of tape holding the receptacle to the machine: how is that going to stop you from turning it too high? Is the receptacle adjustable in height? I keep a bowl of water on a high ledge so it can evaporate and thus add a bit of moisture to the air when I'm using the heating in winter. much cheaper and easier than a humidifier I think.
ReplyDeletein handling such messy stuff we both sound alike Joe.
ReplyDeleteyou made wise decision to not tell her about your numerous attempts , as listening same thing about yourself from her again and again can make you believe it and i don't want this at all
A good whack and duct tape will fix just about anything. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain, honest I do. Here's a tip, put some mugs of cold water around the room, it does the same thing as the humidifier.
ReplyDeleteI find that employing the get-pissed-and-kick-things protocol works fairly well. Either it fixes the thing or you get out all your pent up rage and don't kill an actual person. Either way, it's a good thing.
ReplyDeleteOoh! You're going to be in so much trouble for whacking the mister!
ReplyDeleteWe just have the kind in the basement that works with the furnace to prevent static electricity. That sounds too complicated!
ReplyDeleteNever mind...you got it working and you won't be a dried out old prune so all is well.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a good swat via Yankee ingenuity is what fixes most things. Pretty sure I remember an astronaut smacking some equipment in space to make it work.
ReplyDeleteAs my old college room mate used to say, when all else fails, whack it with a hammer. It usually worked.
ReplyDeleteWell you sure jerked that tape loose!
ReplyDeleteI am finding that the husband and I are having a harder time figuring things out...must be an age thing.
ReplyDeleteWe have one too and it’s persnickety.
ReplyDeleteI don't think they sell humidifiers in Florida. We have DE-humidifiers.
ReplyDeleteTo create comfortable conditions for babies, Our grandmothers and mothers hung wet towels in the children's bedroom. And today special climatic devices are used for these purposes -humidifiers of air.
ReplyDelete--------------------------
Best Whole House Humidifiers