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Friday, March 9, 2018

Can You Hear Me Now?

Can You Hear Me Now?


Sometimes I think Mrs. C is trying to get rid of me.  If I forget something or can’t think of a word, she is ready to put me away.  Currently she will not let go of me losing my hearing.
I am sure I do not hear as well as I once did, but I can hear just fine.  She thinks I can’t hear because she doesn’t realize man’s capability of tuning out their wives. 
I admit the whispering, low talk mumbling on TV shows bothers me, but I am not doing the whispering or mumbling.  I can hear them if I concentrate, but I don’t enjoy a show if I have to work hard and concentrate to hear the dialog.
I thought it was me (or Mrs. C was convincing me that it was me) until I realized that in the movie theater I can hear just fine.  In the theater the volume is turned up way loud, obviously so people can hear the low talk and dramatic whispering. 
So, it is not me!
Some of you are thinking,
“Oh Cranky, listen to your wife, old people never realize when their hearing is going.”
I beg to differ.  I have been deaf.  Years ago, as a very young person I had an ear wax buildup problem that had me slowly lose my hearing.  I did not realize it at first, but when you don’t hear a car honk warning, when people start to yell at you, when you answer the phone and no one is there, you are losing your hearing.  Been there, not there now.
Mrs. C just keeps looking for old person signs in everything.
Yesterday we received a “free offer” from an audio doctor for an appointment. 
Mrs. C was all over it.
“You need to go!”
“I heard you, I was just kidding.  I don’t need to go, I hear just fine.”
“You don’t, you turn the TV up to 16 when 14 is just fine.”
“So, I have to see an audio doctor because I hear the TV better at two clicks above you?”
“You always turn it up before you go to sleep.”
“Because I am sleeping on my side…one ear is muffled, and if I hear a low talk mumble, it keeps me awake trying to concentrate on what they are saying.”
“So, you need the TV to be extra loud to go to sleep?  That is ridiculous.”
“You eat pudding with a fork!”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Nothing, I just want to get off the subject.”
“You should see this doctor!”
“LA LA LA LA LA…I can’t hear you.”
“I heard that!”


  1. MY WIFE and I have similar conversations. Problem is, one side of my family had had some people go profoundly deaf in their later years and she thinks it will/is happening to me. Now, I know soung. I worked as an audio production guy for over 20 years, as a voice artist for the same amount of time. And I am (or, at least, was) a professional musician. I've trained my ears to hear all sorts of sounds nobody else would pick up - clicks, pops, static, off-notes, etc., and if I stop hearing those things, then I'll listen to what she has to say about me going deaf. But I hear those things, still, when she doesn't. So... I hear you, Joe! :-)

  2. I'm with you on this. I have one good ear and another not so good. That's because I had a mastoid operation as a young child. The ear can hear but not as well as the other. Yet, I swear I could hear a scuttling mouse if one dared to come in the house. Fortunately my Joe's hearing was not so good so no observations ever came my

  3. Sadly, Im old enough to know what that's a photo of!

  4. I will bet some variation of this conversation has taken place in many, many households. Get the free hearing test and skip the sales pitch. Keep the audiogram as a baseline measure.
    My husband was nearly deaf by the time he admitted a hearing loss. He told the audiologist he just wanted to hear crickets chirping again and the audiologist told him that he was never going to hear crickets again unless there was a sudden huge jump forward in technology. I took note of the fact that it was crickets he wanted to hear, not the sound of my voice.

  5. My problem is tinnitus...ringing in the ears, probably from being too close to loud aircraft engines for too many years. I've heard (pardon the pun) that that is something that they really can't do a very good job of compensating for at this time. They'll probably find a simple fix the day after I die. ;)

  6. that's pretty much all I want, a baseline to compare to in the future. yes he can hear, but I think there is an issue. nothing wrong with finding out where you are now & then compare it 5 yrs from now. stubborn jerk!

  7. DH and I both have trouble hearing, selectively.

  8. Hey, it's a free test....go for it. That will prove to Mrs. C. once and for all that you are not losing your hearing. Righr? Righr???

  9. Romeo and I have a long standing joke about hearing....what ~ What ~ WHAT??? But I know he's lost some of his, I never had to repeat myself so many times in years past. Now I have a terrible habit of saying things like "idiot" "dolt" "Jesus" under my breath just to see if he hears me. Nope. Get it checked, dude.

  10. You're deaf as a post. Get hearing ads dude. When my wife says I'm deaf, I say, "I know. What's your point?"

  11. Don't go to that hearing "doctor", those just want to sell hearing aids even if you don't need them. To get her to be happy, simply make an appointment with a good doctor to have your hearing checked. If it's okay, then she doesn't need to worry any more.

    1. Lots of audioclinics give free hearing tests and the tests are real, in a sound booth with the ear phones, they'll put flyers in mailboxes just to remind people it's worth getting the hearing checked.

  12. Well, I wanted to give you props for that "You eat pudding with a fork" distraction...but now that I see Mrs. C might be monitoring this post, I will not! Gotta support a fellow voice of reason, even if I don't speak her secret language.

  13. I have trouble hearing dialogue on TV because the soundtrack to movies is so loud I turn it down so as not to annoy the neighbours, then the dialogue has to be turned up, I spend the whole movie with my finger on the volume button on the remote. I think movies should go back to the way they made them in the 50s and 60s with the dialogue the main feature not the soundtrack.


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