INDICATORS OF STUPID
a cranky re-run from March 2012
Cranky’s indicators of stupid
Screwing up on the past tense – These nimrods are never sure of their past tense.
“I went to the store” or “I had gone to the store” becomes “I had went to the store.”
“They ate dinner” or “They had eaten dinner” becomes “They had ate dinner.”
Sometimes I think they screw up the tenses on purpose; I believe they are proud of their stupidity.
“Things of that nature” - This is a beauty. “We were buying groceries and things of that nature.” What this idiot is really doing is trying to dress up that neon sign of stupidity “and shit.” The proper use of the tense “were” instead of “was” helped to disguise this person’s stupidity; “things of that nature” gives him away.
YO is not a word. Stupid people think “Yo” means excuse me, and saying it makes interrupting perfectly alright. Yo yo yo equals triple stupid!
Basically, stupid people love to say basically. People that preface everything with “basically” light up the stupid meter. “Basically we had went to the store.”
Can you say “Like” enough? “I was like “what?” And he was like all “oh yeah,” so I was like“that’s right” and he was like “I don’t think so” then I was like……
“You know” just accentuates stupid: “I was you know like “what?” And he was like all “oh yeah,” you know so I was like “that’s right” you know and he was like you know “I don’t think so” then I was you know like……
Stupid people revel in not using the possessive. “I was gone to my mom house.” “They piled into he car.” “All three went back to they home.”
Using inappropriate words to try and sound intelligent: We were conversating and he accusatorily intimated that my veracity was deficienativly unarticulated.
Putting it all together, “We were talking and he called me a liar.”
Becomes (in stupid) “Yo yo yo, like basically we had be conversating and things of that nature at they house, you know, and he like basically accusatorily intimated that my, you know, veracity was like deficienativly unarticulated.
Aiight?
Let's be kind and say they are simply too stupid to realise they sound stupid, or maybe that's what they learned because it's what they heard all their life growing up, so don't know that it is wrong.
ReplyDeleteDon't they teach proper English in schools these days?
ReplyDeleteHahaha, I, totally like, yo! know what you mean. :-)
ReplyDeleteAnd some people work real hard to made sure they are doing it wrong. Those are the folks that think it's cool.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day, Joe. ☺
Vocabulary and tenses can be tricky. I'll admit I sometimes use big words I don't understand just to make myself sound more photosynthetic.
ReplyDeleteOf all the people who comment on this blog, you are with out a doubt the most photosynthetic.
DeleteThat's good right?
Well, let's just say I've been called worse. ;)
DeleteI'm annoyed by people who think "and I" is always correct!
ReplyDeleteThe sad part is I could follow that last piece of dialogue.
ReplyDeleteThe one that kills me? I see it a lot on Facebook and here it on the news from time to time. "I seen it, them, her, him. Anything that begins with "I seen it." And on your list, that "aiiight" thing. I hear that a lot back in Michigan. Not so much here in Idaho.
ReplyDelete"You know" abusers put me right up a wall. Even when I say--"No, I don't know", they don't get it.
ReplyDeleteThey are all like nails on a chalk board.
ReplyDeleteHere's what bothers me these days. It's not even stupid people trying to sound smart. It's people trying to ride the coattails of the newest trend, perhaps.
ReplyDeleteBeing from the borderline south, and a rural area as well, I don't mind if people drop the G at the end of a word. Fixin', goin', eatin'...no big deal. But dropping the consonants in the MIDDLE of a word is gettin' downright ridiculous. It's geTTin', by cracky! NOT Geh-un.
Don't get me started on the current Valley Girl like ah' and the end of everything.
Delete"Did you eat dinner?"
"No-ah'"
I like to tell people to Simonize their watches when they go into Kmarket or Wallmarket.
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite sites to see in Dallas was the Texas Schoolbook Suppository.
when i say i am stupid it has my whole life experience behind!
ReplyDeletethe panorama look of my life shows me that i am on right track though but NOBODY IS PERFECT <RIGHT?
so i acknowledge my weaknesses and natural defaults in my personality ,so i repeat
" i am not smart as i should to live a more accurate and successful life "
If someone starts a sentence with "I seen..." I'm going to assume it's not ending with "...the inside of a book."
ReplyDelete