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Monday, March 12, 2018


This re-run is from March 2012

Regulators believe there is a chance that electronic emissions from passenger devices could interfere with airline navigation instruments. There is no definitive proof that this is true, but if there is the remotest possibility that these devices could cause a disaster could you just TURN IT THE F OFF?  

Movie theaters and shows ask people to please be considerate of those around them and turn off cell phones and do not take pictures.  They ask very nicely.  They are very polite.  I would just like to request the teenagers at the theater who text and giggle all through the movie to their friends three rows back…er…ah…TURN IT THE F OFF!

To the dude in front of me on the Disney cruise theater, I know this is a once in a lifetime experience and you want to capture all those costumed cartoon characters on film, but my eyes keep getting drawn to the one inch screen of your phone camera when I could actually be watching the real show.  Could I ask you to please TURN IT THE F OFF!  

To the clown in the convertible with the audio turned up full blast.  I am assuming most of the people on the street are enjoying your fantastic taste in music (sic) but I kinda don’t like hearing about “Ho’ses blows and Bro’ses dose and Little Eva eats Ivy.” (“Mairzy Doats”- GIYP)  So I ask you please TURN IT THE F OFF.   

To the butt-head on the train who never learned his inside voice while talking on the cell phone.  I am trying to read, I really don’t need to hear all about your date last night and how f-ing cool you are.  Could you please TURN IT THE F OFF!  Oh and I’m pretty sure whoever you are talking to doesn’t have to guess where you are calling from, cell phones have been around for a while now! JERKWEED!

Hey biker dude on that huge Harley; why don’t you rev that puppy a few hundred times more at every stoplight.  I’m pretty sure that blonde on the corner is about to drop her pants and jump right behind your giant leather covered ass so you can ride off in the sunset to motel 6.  Otherwise could you please TURN IT THE F OFF!

To everyone who wants to show off their loud obnoxious toys in public, I am very impressed now could you please TURN IT THE F OFF!

Thank you.


  1. Last time I was on a plane we weren't allowed to have phones switched, wondering now if this has changed or does it only apply to certain airlines? I agree with you that it is THE most irritating invention, even though I have one!!!

  2. Things haven't gotten any better since then.

  3. Amen on this. I have the same reaction to these clods.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

  4. I'm with ya, but Dude! Just...breath. And maybe not go out in public.
    See, right at this very moment I'm listening to a couple leaf blowers in a neighbour's back yard where their lawn care boys are too lazy to break out the rakes, but would sooner spent a good forty-five minutes trying to do a spring clean-up.
    Or, when their annoying dog is outside, barking to be let in because well, they inadvertently trained him to do that? That's OK. I have a chain saw. It'll trump a barking dog any day of the week. Or weekend.
    Wanna dine "al fresco" on a Saturday evening? Or maybe sleep in that morning?
    Welp, I just might need to cut up some wood.

    1. You have THOSE neighbors! I like how those leaf blowers sometimes spend minutes chasing one leaf, kinda like running the vacuum over the same "gubba" again and again instead of just picking it up by hand...hmmm I sense a post.

  5. To the woman in the grocery store having a long convo with her friend about her colonoscopy ~ turn it the F off!!!! (true story, and I kept moving away from her only to turn the next corner & there she was again....)

  6. I don't fly, don't go on cruises, and rarely go to the movies any more. I don't commute on the train. The jacked-up pickup trucks around here are louder than their radios, and it's not really safe to turn a truck the F off when it's in the lane next to me. The Harley-riders are busy with their clandestine meth ring and disposing of a headless body in a septic tank a quarter mile from my house, and use more stealthy vehicles to accomplish these tasks. Here in the country, we let our leaves lay until they decompose and fertilize the soil.

    But I know EXACTLY what you're talking about! Nobody wants to hear that crap.

  7. Perhaps just wear a shirt when you go out that says "SHHHHHHHHHH!" ? Could work...

  8. Agreed. Keep private things private, please!

  9. I had the surprising pleasure of sitting in front of a young woman on the bus recently, she was talking on her phone, but all I heard was quiet murmuring. No shouting, no swearing and I remember thinking at the time, why can't they all do that, instead of yelling the entire conversation so the whole bus load of us can hear. Another time I had to turn off my mp3 player because I couldn't hear my music over someone's excited bragging.

  10. See, that's the good thing about millenials - they don't talk on the phone any more. They just text. Quietly.

    But, sigh, they do it ALL. THE. TIME.


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