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Tuesday, March 27, 2018

New Jersey Emergency Management System Test

New Jersey Emergency Management System Test
I am a late-night person.  I watch a lot of TV.  I watch a lot of TV late at night.

Periodically, generally after 1AM, The New Jersey Emergency Management System conducts a test.
This test consists of the TV going blue and an unreadably message drifting across the top of the blue screen.  Then a voice comes on that sounds as if the announcer was a drop-out from the NYC Subway system.  If you have not had the pleasure of riding a NYC subway, especially years ago before pre-recorded messages, the announcements sounded something like this,
This is the (lots of static) fremading train making all stops between (lots of static)  8th frem and friourtheenth arbendo; next stop (lots of static) please watch your (lots of static) when exiting the train.
It seems that the New Jersey Emergency Management System demands weekly testing of the ability to interrupt all TV channels and leave indiscernible instructions on any pending emergency and what steps to take to protect yourself. 
I suppose that if you do not watch a lot of TV, you will miss this message and your inevitable demise will come as a complete surprise.
I think I might prefer the surprise, rather than running around like a chicken without a head, panicking and trying to find out what the Emergency Management System warning just said.
“Was that just a test?”
“I don’t know, it sounded real.”
“What is a ‘blerg popping pundle’ and where is the nearest ‘shendal’ that we need to ‘pretend to cobble to?’
“I don’t know, I didn’t understand a thing they just said.  It sounded serious, but if they want us to ‘cobble to the nearest ‘shendal’ to avoid the ‘blerg popping pundle,’ why did the ‘Leave it to Beaver’ re-run come back on the air?”
“You know what, turn to the Game Show Network, if I’m about to be ‘blerg poppin pundled,’ I want to be ‘pundled’ watching ‘Cash Cab.’”
I appreciate that New Jersey has an Emergency Management System. It is great that they are so concerned about testing this system.  I do have to wonder, with all these tests, does anyone not realize that the only thing they are currently capable of doing is interrupting a show at the worst possible time, scaring the crap outta people, and telling us nothing?


  1. No worries, Cranky. If this had been a real emergency you would've been instructed to go to your nearest.... :D

  2. Perhaps they are waiting for people to phone in and say the test has failed and no one at all can understand a word of what is being said. Then they can upgrade and maybe words will be legible eventually?
    It does seem a weird way to announce an emergency though, like you said, not everyone would be watching TV, or even that channel.

  3. I'm guessing 'blerg poppin pundled' is some arcane dialect that means, "sit down, put your head between your knees, and kiss you @$$ goodbye". "Blerg poppin pundled" just sounds less threatening. Carry on.

  4. I find the messages that cross the botoom of our TV screen warning of tornadoes and the like to be completely unreadable as well...I have a feeling that they only want to save those with perfect eyesight.We don't get a voice over...just a horrible alarm sound that makes you want to go off running in all directions.

  5. There's a lot of this happening. Got to do it, but it's not right when they do. What good are they going to be in a real emergency? I'm not thinking much.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  6. It's been decades since I saw one of those warnings on TV, and I watch a lot of TV. I DID hear one on the radio yesterday, though. I switched stations before hearing the details. It seems that I'm not the type to be saved.

  7. Radio does the same test, at least those you can understand what they are saying.

  8. Like you, I think I'd rather be surprised than frantically searching for shelter or more likely, going through all my regrets as time runs out.

  9. Maybe it's time to change the batteries in the old hearing aids, Joeh! :^D

  10. i either would love the surprise anyway !

    i wonder why they choose such bad time for the message which is not clear and understandable

  11. Well, better to have to listen to this than the real one that was broadcast in Hawaii a few weeks ago!