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Sunday, September 17, 2017

Stupid Headlines 091717

Stupid Headlines 091717
It’s time again for
How do you plead? SCARED SHITLESS!

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY


This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 

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Lizzie Borden house is on the market – Home much does it cost?  If you have to ax you can’t afford it.


Cats at Hemingway home in Key West safe after Hurricane Irma, reports say – They still have six toes, but they are down to eight lives.


California man pees on deputy while being arrested for drug possession, cops say – No you idiot, I said in a cup...not on a cop!”


Prince Harry Makes Massive Move With His Girl Friend – If it involves a  swirl at the end, he stole that move!


Nordstrom has a bold new idea for how to reinvent itself: a store with booze, but no merchandise – Great idea, but isn’t that called a bar?


Woman Accused Of Shooting Homeless Man Who Asked Her To Move Porsche – I hope the homeless man gonna be rich when he sues this bitch!


DC socialite worries the hexes she put on people might have killed them – Could you just give it one try on a fat North Korean named Un?


Pizza Hut threatens evacuating Florida employees with disciplinary action – Because really bad pizza and a minimum wage job are worth risking your life.


I want to retire early. Where should I invest? – Law School!


11-year-old Frank does a 'great job' mowing White House lawn – I have no idea how an old hotdog mows a lawn, but this is impressive.


FEEL-ANGRY NEWS

NY police leaders outraged over John Jay College professor's tweet on teaching 'future dead cops' -

  Smug “Intellectual” little Antifa prick

FEEL -GOOD NEWS:

School Safety Patrols Think No One's Watching Them In Pouring Rain -- Kids respectfully taking down and folding The Flag in pouring rain.


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Come back again next week (maybe) for more

STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!  


16 comments:

  1. * If you have to ax you can’t afford it.
    I have herd that puns are the lowest sense of humor, but this had me laughing in a pee my pants sort of way.

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  2. Think we could get a bunch of those witches to hex Un? Maybe it will work.

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  3. The feel angry news does make me angry. This idiot has gone completely off the rails.

    I linked this post to Silly Sunday as always.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  4. Bad adjective there, "intellectual." Great collection, as always.

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  5. Had to smile about Hemingway's cats since their ancestors were once my neighbors. Poor little many toed kitties---pretty sure they are down to their last life.

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  6. Folding the flag and doing it right. Not usre if I would have been quite so careful in a drenching downpour. WE caught the clip of the young grass mower on the white house grounds......hope Trump didn't stiff him.

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    Replies
    1. From what i saw he was very nice to the young man and it seemed like the boy really had a great time.

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    2. Certainly it will be one for his memory book and a great tale to tell his own kids some day.

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  7. The two flag folders made me proud!!

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  8. These posts are a highlight of my weekend.

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  9. I hope Prince Harry didn't bring a pastrami on rye with mustard into the bedroom!

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  10. I had to laugh at the headline about the guy who killed his lawyer getting a new attorney.

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  11. Another good crop, Joe. Thanks.

    I'm chuckling over the thought of the 'new lawyer' getting assigned the guy who killed his last lawyer, looking at the judge and asking, "What'd I ever do to you?"

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  12. Those were good. The man who allegedly kills attorney; Do they even teach journalism anymore?

    The guy who peed on the cop - sounds like something that would happen in my town.

    Yeah I saw that, with the boy and Trump. I'm not a Trumpster but my husband is - I have to say, I saw the video and it was sweet. Made my husband proud. I tend to make him mad these days since Trump came into office. We are a mixed-marriage.

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