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Sunday, September 10, 2017
Stupid Headlines 091017
Stupid Headlines 091017
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
'Goonies' star Martha Plimpton says she had her 'best abortion' in Seattle – OK…a celebrity endorsement for abortions in Seattle, also from my experience this spring, a very popular city for Meth Heads. BTW, who the frig is Martha Plimpton? Wasn’t “Goonies” a teen flick 73 years ago?
Antidepressants detected in fish brains in Great Lakes – Those fish are hooked before they are hooked.
Gay people to blame for Hurricane Harvey, say evangelical Christian leaders – See, when you say, “Christian leader(s)” it implies all Christian leaders, actually there were two wack-a-doodles and most Christians (99%) think that the smiting thing is not real.
Bear shows up to birthday party uninvited, finishes off cake – Well, he is definitely not going to be invited next year either!
Miss America contestant flies herself to competition – And she did it while twirling a baton!
Student Has Grade Docked for Using the Word 'Mankind' in Paper – “That’s one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for ManWomanGayLesbianBiTransQueerkind.” Doesn’t work for me, but then I am old and out of touch.
School makes at least 75 students take blood and urine tests over 1 empty beer can – CRAP! That’s like not even one sip per student!
5 nurses suspended after opening body bag to view deceased patient's genitals – Somethings just have to be obscene to be believed.
Amazon delivery traps customer in own apartment – Well, that tactic will put the Big Box Stores out of business for sure.
Drunk man sells car for beer money then wakes up wondering where his car went – Like that hasn’t happened to pretty much everyone…right?
This had to be a joke, but it is real:
Patriots fans already calling for Jimmy Garoppolo to start over Tom Brady – Holy cow, I thought Philly fans were bad, but this is over the top! One game removed from the Super Bowl comeback and this?
And the Feel Good News of the week:
Iowa football crowd stands to wave at children in neighboring hospital – A really cool new tradition!
Come back again next week (maybe) for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!!