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Sunday, September 24, 2017

Stupid Headlines 092417

Stupid Headlines 092417
It’s time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments. 
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Aspen police: Taking selfies with bears is never a good idea – Advice that was never needed before legalizing marijuana.
Scottish man on trial for 'causing hatred' by posting joke video of dog saluting Hitler – I hate and am offended that they call this causing hate…it frightens me.  They should charge the people calling this a hate crime with causing hate.
Sign Language Interpreter Reportedly Issued ‘Pizza’ Warning During Irma Update - Statistics show that only 10% of the 24,000,000 deaf and hard-of-hearing people in the United States understand sign language. The other 90% rely on captioning.  But then the sign language dude is just so much more politically correct.
Cameraman Absolutely Trucks Cheerleader at NFL Game – He accidentally ran her over and she was unhurt…I was hoping it was a typo.
Police seek 'mad pooper' woman jogger who's defecating shamelessly on people's front lawns – You can’t say she doesn’t give a shit!
California hotel will deliver 10-pound doughnut to your room – Welcome to the hotel in California, you can shove your face, if you’re a big disgrace, plenty of room in the Hotel in California, we have a huge doughnut here, wash it down with beer.
Tractor-trailer makes wrong turn, ends up on Atlantic City Boardwalk – You can’t make this stuff up:
“The driver of the tractor-trailer reportedly said he was following the directions of his GPS device and found himself on the boardwalk.”
Domino's sex couple faces jail time for 'obscene and disgusting' acts – I thought Domino’s was supposed to deliver the goods.
Murderer sues Kansas prison for 'imposing Christian beliefs' – Prisoner is upset by that “Thou shalt not kill” thing.
Parrot Places Online Shopping Order by Mimicking Owner – That explains a palate of crackers on the from door.
MOST DISGUSTING NEWS:
Bodily fluids found in Detroit airport soap dispensers – Ewww, I read no further!
FEEL-GOOD NEWS:
Heroic Dog Saves Life Of Boy Stranded In Sierra Madre Mountains – I like cats, but if I’m stranded anywhere, give me a dog!
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Come back again next week (maybe) for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY!! 

13 comments:

  1. I love reading these headlines every week


    The truck driver ending up on the boardwalk reminds me of Cindy's cousin following his GPS device, sometimes you have to use your common sense and realize that you shouldn't turn there.

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  2. I too look forward to your stupid headlines each week. I'm more interested in your comments to said headlines though. Just saying.

    I linked this post to Silly Sunday.

    Have a fabulous day, Joe. ☺

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  3. Don't even get me started on the many faults of a GPS!

    Did they ever catch the Mad Pooper? I hope they put her in a nice place. (With locks on the doors)

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  4. Funny how her bowels seem to only function when she gets to that ladies yard. Sounds personal to me.

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  5. "Sign Language Interpreter Reportedly Issued ‘Pizza’ Warning During Irma Update"

    Well, you know, there's a lot of crappy pizza out there, so this should still be considered a valuable public service announcement.

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  6. I can't follow GPS - it confuses me. I'm much better with a map.

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  7. That causing hatred charge scares me, too. Got to love a dog rescuing child story.

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  8. Ha! I like the parrot ordering online. Have a terrific week.

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  9. My 13-year-old self applauds your sophomoric comments on the trucking cameraman and the lawn pooper!

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  10. So obviously someone has seen the pooper jogger...knows it's a woman...but nobody can find her? I take it she didn't steal the newspaper for a quick read while doing the dirty deed.

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  11. I think at least two of these happened in Florida...

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