STUPID HEADLINE 042317
I know that guy!
It’s
time again for
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
This week’s stupid
headlines and my stupider, sometimes sophomoric comments.
______________________
Burglar breaks into home, cooks fried
chicken – When caught,
the distinguished gentleman with white hair, mustache, goatee in a white suit
simply asked, “Where do you keep your buckets?”
Man Pretending to Be Cop Pulls Over
Real One – Was this
the same guy who last week got pulled over for drunk driving wearing a “Drunk
Lives Matter” t-shirt?
Make it a crime to show killing on
Facebook – Yes, that
will make a deranged murderer think twice before posting on Facebook.
‘Sexual favors’ not accepted to pay
taxes in Montana town – They’re not accepted in New Jersey either…at least not with me as the
favor.
French presidential candidate wants a
100% tax on the rich – That should boost productivity incentive.
Loud sex interrupts tennis match – Too much racket stops Love match?
Microsoft is trying to make passwords
obsolete – This is
just so stupid. If all passwords were
“obsolete” hackers would have a field day!
Carmelo Anthony Did Not Get Another
Woman Pregnant Before Split from Wife – It is a crazy world we live in when this is a headline.
Nevada voter fraud probe finds 3
voted illegally in November – Only need to find 2,899,998 more to prove Trump is right.
Japan has plans to drill through the
earth's crust and reach the mantle – Drill through the Earth’s crust? Hello, it’s above the fireplace!
LGBTQ, transgender issues should be
taught in nursery school, UK teachers' union says – I think you need to teach them the
alphabet first, or they’ll get this confused with the twelfth letter, “Elemeno P.”
THIS WEEK’s FEEL-GOOD
STORY:
Bikers heard marine’s remains were
coming home in USPS box, refused to let that happen – These dudes deserve a little
recognition. They also keep those
Westboro Baptist Church A-holes away from desecrating veteran’s funerals.
Come back next Sunday for more
STUPID HEADLINE SUNDAY
Burglar Breaks into Home, Cooks Fried Chicken
ReplyDelete"Not that there's anything wrong with that!" Says Val, who singlehandedly keeps the Gas Station Chicken Store in her neighborhood from going bankrupt. "Where can I get me one of these burglars?"
I agree, as long as he cooks enough for everyone. I'm starving.
DeleteI could use one of those 'cooking' burglars, also a 'cleaning' one.
ReplyDelete"Japan has plans to drill through the earth's crust and reach the mantle"
ReplyDeleteI've been suggesting for years that we drill through the crust, the mantle, and the core, and come up on the other side underneath Saudi Arabia. Then we could just suck their oil out from under them. What oil shortage? ;)
That was a touching ceremony the bikers provided for their fallen.
ReplyDeleteI think they're going to catch that guy in the police composite. I hope he's found some sort of disguise by now.
ReplyDeleteLove the bikers. They do lots of great work.
ReplyDeleteI linked this post to Silly Sundays.
Have a fabulous Sunday, Joe. ☺
The Patriot Guard Riders story is amazing, I agree they do deserve some recognition, you have to respect a group who goes all out to show a man the respect he deserves.
ReplyDeleteShouldn't a burglar cook you a hamburger?
ReplyDeleteChickenlar?
Well I guess three votes is a start. Love the biker story.
ReplyDeleteThe man who impersonated an officer, i wish i could have seen the look on his face when he realized his mistake.
ReplyDeleteSometimes they are given a bad rap, but i have liked and respected most bikers and truckers i've met.
Thanks once again for starting my week with laughter. I promise that my racket isn't going to interfere with anyone's love making. I miss the ball too many times.
ReplyDeleteYou gotta love those bikers. They might be gnarly but they often err on doing the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI want a burglar who cleans and does laundry!
ReplyDelete