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Sunday, April 30, 2017

Why Won’t You Dance?

Why Won’t You Dance?
 This cranky re-run is from April 2013

Mrs. C’s hobby is Ball Room dancing.  She is an amateur, but she is pretty good.  I appreciate the skill and effort it takes to dance, but I have no interest in learning.  Mrs. Cranky recently wanted to know why I am so unwilling to participate in one of her favorite activities.

There is a “Seinfeld” episode (I know Val at  knows immediately which one I am going to relate) where Elaine makes a fool of herself with her bad dancing.  She thinks she is good.  I did not get this episode right away because I also thought she was good.  Therein lies my dancing problem.

I am not talking about Ball Room dancing, I am talking freeform make up your own steps bullshit dancing that 90% of the world does to any music today.  I watch these dancers at weddings today, and way back- when at school parties.  To me it is just a bunch of foot shuffling, arm swinging, head bobbing, facial expression crap.  Whenever I tried to participate and shuffle-swing-bob-sneer, I thought I was really cool. And yet, people laughed at me.

They laughed at me!

I look at all these idiots doing their own fertility-ritualistic-strutting version of dancing and I think, “Damn, they all look like a bunch of assholes” and when I decide to join in because it seems like the thing to do…EVERYBODY LAUGHS AT ME!

Apparently I dance funny.  I look stupid!

I think everyone looks like complete idiots when they dance (not the Ball Room stuff).  I only ever attempted to dance because of peer pressure…and I get laughed at!

Come on Joe, get up and dance…its fun.”

No thanks, I’ll just watch.”

Don’t be a party pooper, dance.”


Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha you look like a spasticated monkey!”

Maybe I am a bit of a clown.  When a clown dances people expect him to look funny.  They don’t see themselves and how silly they look, they only see the clown and they laugh.

Personally I think I dance pretty well.  I think I look cool; me and Elaine.

That is why I don’t dance.


  1. My excuse for not dancing is "my boyfriend (and then hubby) is in the band and I don't dance with anyone but him. Worked for many a year and then no one asked me to dance because they knew I was with hubby. Did dance at our wedding, but we practiced the "moves" for a few weeks prior. I do admire those that can dance, and dance well.


  2. Is that really Mrs C in that video, she's pretty good. I'd like to learn ballroom dancing, but I just know I'd get all the steps to the different dances mixed up. Some of them are quite complicated. My first husband's parents were really good ballroom dancers, they used to win trophies, and she was a dressmaker, so made all their costumes too.
    I think about how I dance around the living room here and think I look at least a little bit smoother than Elaine.

  3. I used to love dancing, even got the medals, but MY Joe killed the desire. Bless him, he was useless on the dance floor!

  4. Fortunately for me, the hubs won't dance because, if he did, then I would look stupid.

  5. I never thought Elaine looked much different than most others I see who are 'dancing.'

  6. And i have two left feet, so i leave it all to others. No one calls me a party pooper when i just watch and enjoy what others are doing.

  7. I can dance, hubby not so much, so we don't dance. It's just fine with me.

    Your wife is very good. Elaine made me laugh out loud. I remember that episode.

    Have a fabulous day. ☺

  8. I hadn't seen that episode of Seinfeld, but I did see a guy dancing the other night who must have taken lessons from her. But he was having fun so what the heck.

  9. Mrs. C. does very well! I used to love to dance. My first husband and I took ballroom dancing lessons, and he pretty much sucked. He thought he was pretty good. We went out dancing with his brother and SIL once. When we came home, there was a BIG fight! "Why can't you dance with me like that?" he asked. We never went dancing again - he had two left feet and no timing whatsoever.

  10. George's comment about Elaine's dancing could have been said of my dancing ability: My dancing looks like a full body dry-heave set to music.

  11. Well goodness, when your wife is a pro, kinda of makes it tough to compete. Have you thought of lessons? I haven't danced since I quit drinking. Somehow alcohol removed my inhibitions.

  12. That's OK Joe I would be sitting right there with you, I never was a good dancer and just about the time I thought I was picking it up Cindy politely let me know that I wasn't.

  13. Mrs. C is very good! If I were you, I'd be hoping Sergei Bezrodnov is gay.

    Just kidding. I learn ballroom dancing in high school. A few years after that, I came to the U.S. and never met anyone who knew how to waltz, tango, etc. So there went that skill...

    Love that Seinfeld episode!

  14. Some of us are experts. I mean, I got an A in square dance in the 8th grade!

  15. Today's dancing is NOT dancing!!

  16. Wow, Mrs C is good. I wish I could dance like that.

    I know what you mean about the way we used to dance. Bobbing up and down- swinging our arms above our head, snapping our fingers --just dumb. That's why I won't attend any more HS class reunions. The last one, I went to was the 10 year- and that was embarrassing and made me feel old and dumb. I can't imagine, now, at class reunions how totally ridiculous they all look. Hahahahaha chumps, you won't see me dancing.